


Maybe San Francisco (Or Thereabout)

by gay_relations



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, I don't know, Senior Trip AU, alyssa just really wants to go to san francisco and befriend emma nolan, jk things got really gay whoops, super platonically of course, tw underage drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-07-10 10:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19904107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_relations/pseuds/gay_relations
Summary: She could see Emma thinking carefully about what to say next. “Your birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, right?”It wasn’t what Alyssa was expecting her to say and her jaw dropped ever so slightly before answering “Uh yeah, April 7th.”“Right, so you’ll be 18. If you can pay your way and you really want to go, you won’t need your moms permission.”Alyssa laughed. “Yeah sure I’ll just sign my own permission slip and go on the trip despite my mother’s wishes.”“Why not?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a fic before but I just love these two so much and writing about them seemed like a better option than thinking about how the show is closing in just three weeks.

“Everyone is going, Alyssa, and it’s probably like the last time we’ll ever be together before we all find husbands and start having babies and can’t hangout anymore.” 

“It’s not that I don’t want to go, Kaylee. My mother just thinks my summer would be better spent interning or resume building or some other boring task she’s yet to come up with before college starts.” 

“But Kaylee’s right. We’re all gonna leave in the fall and find the man of our dreams and then nothing will ever be the same. You HAVE to go!”

Alyssa hid behind her locker door, hoping her friends didn’t notice her unease at all the husband and baby talk. Why couldn’t college just be about discovering who they were and new experiences? Why did Kaylee and Shelby always have turn it into finding a boyfriend or starting a family? She took a deep breath before closing her locker and turning towards her friends, deciding it would be best to just ignore those comments all together. “Again, I want go. Trust me, I would much rather spend my summer in San Francisco with you both. But you know how my mother is. As hard as I tried I just wasn’t able to convince her this trip would be worth it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s just too bad. I know we weren’t the only ones hoping you would make it.” Shelby shot Kaylee a mischievous smile.

Furrowing her brow, Alyssa gave in. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, there is a certain blonde that has been dying to spend some more time with you. This trip would be the perfect opportunity!” Kaylee matched Shelby’s grin, her gaze shifting behind her friend.

Alyssa turned around trying to follow her eyes. The hall was crowded with kids making their way to class but she immediately found one blonde Emma Nolan. The two hadn’t spoken much but they had had a few classes here and there together throughout the years. However, Emma normally opted for the back of the class whereas Alyssa always sat front and center so even then their paths didn’t cross much. That’s not to say Alyssa hadn’t noticed her before though. It was hard not to. Despite her introversion, it was very clear how intelligent Emma was. Alyssa worked hard in all her classes to keep up but she always watched in awe as things just seemed to come easily to Emma. 

If that weren’t enough reason to admire her, she was also a very talented performer. The first time Alyssa had heard Emma play was at a Thanksgiving assembly. She had been so captivated by Emma’s rendition of Imagine that it took a minute after the song ended to realize she was the only one clapping, a little too enthusiastically at that. Alyssa didn’t care though. Emma did amazing and that whole damn auditorium should’ve been roaring with applause. 

But Alyssa knew Emma’s reputation and why nobody else cheered. The kids in their school hated her and Alyssa could never truly understand why. She’d heard the rumors, of course, but even then it certainly didn’t seem to justify all the hate Emma had to endure. It would never make sense to Alyssa how people could despise someone so brilliant and authentic.

Just thinking about Emma wanting to hangout with her brought on a warm feeling in her chest, similar to when Alyssa had watched her sing all that time ago. She lowered her voice as she spoke. “How do you know Emma wants to spend more time with me? Did she say something to you? Wait, so she is going on the trip too?” 

As if she heard her name, Emma looked over and the two locked eyes. Alyssa immediately smiled at the contact but Emma’s eyes just grew slightly before quickly turning her head back into her locker. 

“What? Why would I know that? No gross I didn’t mean that freak. I’m talking about Greg!” Kaylee continued.  
Still staring at Emma, Alyssa’s eyes moved a couple lockers down to find Greg waving eagerly in her direction. Her smile dropped a bit and she gave a half hearted wave in return. “Oh yeah, of course.”

“As if this alone wasn’t bad enough, you had to go and reject his proposal too. At this rate you’ll never have a boyfriend!” Kaylee said as if that would be the absolute worst thing in the world.

“I would have said yes if I didn’t have a debate that night.” It wasn’t a complete lie. There really was a competition that weekend. Her mother had even given her blessing to skip it if she wanted to attend the dance and for a moment she had considered going, thinking it could be a fun night with friends. But when Greg asked her to go with him she instinctually decided the debate would be a much more enjoyable time. She could tell he was disappointed but she was grateful for the out. Greg was a nice guy but he only ever wanted to talk about athletes and actors that Alyssa had little to no interest in. 

“‘And your mother won’t allow it’ we know we know,” Shelby jabbed.

Alyssa fiddled with a loose thread on her sleeve, avoiding Shelby’s eye. She felt bad for the slight lie. “Well actually-“ She was cut off by the minute warning bell. “You guys go ahead. I need to grab something still.” 

As soon as they left, Alyssa rested her forehead on her locker and let out a deep sigh. She really did like Kaylee and Shelby, but as they got older they became more and more boy crazy and Alyssa couldn’t keep up. She thought their high school years should be focused on studies and friends. They’d have the rest of their lives to date guys. Why worry about it now? 

“Is, uh, everything okay?” 

Alyssa whipped her head up to find Emma Nolan standing a few feet away, looking at her sneakers and playing with the straps on her backpack. “Oh, um… Yeah, everything is fine. Thanks for asking, Emma.”

“Alright, cool yeah no problem. I’ll just… See you in class then.”

Alyssa watched with a soft smile as Emma took a few awkward steps backwards, one hand scratching the back of her head and the other motioning senselessly. She was looking anywhere that wasn’t Alyssa and her shoulders were practically up to her ears and Alyssa so badly wanted to put a reassuring hand on them to help calm the girl. This was the first time Emma had ever really spoken to her out of class and definitely the first time they ever talked about something unrelated to school or homework. Not wanting it to end so shortly, Alyssa stopped her. “Wait!” 

Emma froze and looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Alyssa let out a small sigh. “It’s just the senior trip. My friends keep giving me a hard time for not going and I hate feeling like I’m letting them down.”

Emma didn’t say anything but held eye contact and nodded her head, allowing Alyssa to continue.

“And it sucks because I really do want to go. I’ve never been to west coast nor have I ever been allowed to go on a trip that wasn’t church or family related. But my mother wants me to stay here for the summer because she believes it would be a better use of my time and she wouldn’t even hear me out when I tried to explain that there would be a lot of culture and history and learning opportunities. I even offered to pay for the whole trip myself but she just wouldn’t have any of it. I don’t think it helps that San Francisco is kind of famously known for…” Emma looked away suddenly and Alyssa decided not to finish that thought. “Anyways, I know she means well but I would give anything to go on this trip.”

Emma still hadn’t brought her eyes back to Alyssa and she found herself wishing she would. It didn’t stop Alyssa from keeping her eyes locked on the other girl though. She could see Emma thinking carefully about what to say next. “Your birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, right?”

It wasn’t what Alyssa was expecting her to say and her jaw dropped ever so slightly before answering “Uh yeah, April 7th.” 

“Right, so you’ll be 18. If you can pay your way and you really want to go, you won’t need your moms permission.”

Alyssa laughed. “Yeah sure I’ll just sign my own permission slip and go on the trip despite my mother’s wishes.”

“Why not?” 

Alyssa, mouth hanging open, stared on at Emma as if she suddenly started speaking a foreign language. She could not come up with an answer that felt satisfying enough and luckily she didn’t have to.

The final bell rang through the now empty hallway. “Crap” was all Emma said before giving a half wave, half salute and running to class. Even in her state of shock, Alyssa found the motion adorable. She knew she should have followed suit and ran off as well but she was still processing their conversation. 

The notion of going against her mom had seemed so completely absurd, yet Emma presented the idea like it was as easy as deciding whether or not to wear a sweater that day. Could it really be that simple? Alyssa tried to imagine the possible outcomes but none appeared to end without flames and destruction. Alright, maybe she was being a bit dramatic but Alyssa knew without a doubt that going to San Francisco would hurt her mother deeply and inevitably wind up with her being grounded until college. But that was thing: Alyssa would be leaving just a few short months after the trip. Her mom wouldn’t even have to know about it for a while as the trip wasn’t until after graduation anyways. Besides, she’d only be gone for a week so she would still have plenty of time to do the things her mother wanted her to after she got back. Either way, she wasn’t turning 18 for a few while so there was no reason to get too worked up about it now. Instead, she grabbed the rest of her things and headed off to class hoping her teacher wouldn’t notice her slip in late.

//

Alyssa’s birthday came quicker than she expected. Her last semester of high school was over halfway done and between all her clubs wrapping up and her teachers prepping them for AP tests, time seemed to be flying. For her big day, her mom had allowed her to have pancakes with chocolate chips for breakfast, a pleasant change from her usually very strict diet. Kaylee and Shelby had decorated her locker and bought her a few outfits noting in the card “Greg is gonna love these!”. Speaking of whom brought her carnations and an awkward hug. Despite all the birthday distractions, she couldn’t help but obsess over finally being 18. She hadn’t thought about it much more after that day when it was first suggested to go on the senior trip as her own consenting adult, but today it was all she could think about. Her thoughts were so consumed with the idea of going and dealing with the aftermath of her choices that she might as well have stayed home today as she definitely wasn’t learning anything in her classes.

She was so thankful to reach her last subject of the day. It meant one hour closer to being able to properly sort out her thoughts and clear her head. As she walked towards her desk she noticed a small, neatly wrapped gift bag waiting for her. Her stomach dropped and she scanned the room for Greg. When she didn’t see him around, she let out a grateful sigh and sat down. The first thing she found was a little note. “I hope you get your birthday wish. -E” She pulled her eyebrows together tight, unsure who “E” could be until she opened the rest of the present. In the bag was a small snow globe. It had the Golden Gate Bridge and a cable car inside and “San Francisco” was neatly written across the base in cursive. Alyssa couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as her fingers ran over the lettering. She looked towards the back of the class and found Emma looking as her shyly and Alyssa’s heart skipped a beat. Any doubt she had previously had about going on the trip didn’t matter anymore. Just as she was about to get up and walk over, the teacher called the class to attention. It was probably for the best as Alyssa was so overwhelmed with the gesture she didn’t even have a plan as to what to say.

If she had thought the rest of her classes that day dragged on, this one lasted three times as long. She was suddenly desperate to talk to Emma again and this lecture was in the way of that. When Emma had first mentioned knowing her birthday a few weeks ago, it had filled her with a new kind of excitement, but to then receive a gift from the blonde was causing next level giddiness. While the pancakes and flowers and clothes had all been nice, Emma’s present had affected her so much more. It was unbelievably thoughtful and all Alyssa wanted to do was let her know. 

When the bell rang, Alyssa was already packed up and ready to make a quick beeline for Emma’s desk. However, when she got up to go, her teacher called her over. She watched as Emma walked out the door and tried to hide her disappointment before turning towards her teacher. 

All she wanted to address was why Alyssa was so distant during class. “It’s just not like you to zone out. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s okay. It’s just my birthday and I suppose I was a little distracted is all. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Alyssa assured her.  
The teacher wished Alyssa a happy birthday before letting her go and Alyssa knew that she should have been thankful that her teacher cared enough to check up on her, but she was more discontented at missing the chance to catch Emma. 

Alyssa knew she should just go home and thank Emma tomorrow, but instead she found herself walking towards the band hall. It was a long shot, but she was far too eager not to try. As she walked closer to her destination, she could begin to hear the soft familiar tune that made her stomach flutter. Sometime after the assembly last year, Alyssa had passed through this hall and discovered that Emma practiced in the band closet occasionally after school. 

She realized she had been standing outside the door simply listening to the other girl for an amount of time that was most likely approaching creepy. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. She heard Emma immediately stop playing her guitar and Alyssa gave it a few beats, waiting for the door to open. But it didn’t. 

“Emma?” she called though the door giving another knock, her confidence beginning to waiver. Perhaps this was too much. She should have just waited for tomorrow like a normal person.

Just as Alyssa was about to give up and retreat, she heard the lock click and the door slowly opened. Alyssa’s breath caught in excitement and she almost didn’t notice how vulnerable the other girl appeared. Emma gave the hall a few glances and when she seemed satisfied that nobody else was around, she opened the door all the way for Alyssa. 

The brunette wasted no time entering the room with a little skip in her step. She had never actually been inside the band closet before but it was pretty much what she imagined it to be. Instruments and uniforms lined the walls. There were crates upon crates of sheet music everywhere. In one of the corners, Alyssa spotted Emma’s guitar leaning next to the rest of Emma’s school belongings and she suddenly wished she had taken in one more minute of listening to Emma play. She turned around to see the other girl carefully closing the door.

“Hi” Alyssa offered pathetically.

“Hey” Emma responded, still very hesitant and slightly confused.

“I just wanted to say thank you for the gift.”

“It was nothing really.” 

“No, Emma, it was everything. I haven’t gotten something so thoughtful since my dad… well it’s just been a while. And it meant a lot so thank you.”

“Oh. You’re welcome then.” Emma gave her a soft, bashful smile and Alyssa suddenly felt light headed. 

“Yeah thank you” she said again, instantly regretting it. “But I already said that. I just meant like. It was just really sweet and I needed you to know. So yeah, cool. I’m glad I found you. Thanks again-“

Much to Alyssa’s relief, Emma cut off the rambling girl. “How did you find me?”

And with that Alyssa felt her nerves flood back in. “Well, I’ve heard you practicing in here before. A lot actually. Sometimes when I’m hanging up flyers for student council or on my way to cheer practice.”

“Oh god, you’ve heard me rehearsing?” Her embarrassment turned into puzzlement. “Wait, isn’t cheer practice on the other side of the school?”

Alyssa wasn’t sure which of them was blushing more at this point. She didn’t want to lie to Emma but she also couldn’t explain to the girl how she would walk by in hopes of hearing her playing because it had a way of soothing her before going to cheer. “You’re really talented. I loved your performance at the thanksgiving assembly.”  
Emma didn’t press more on why she would be passing by after school and Alyssa was grateful. “Thanks, you were the only one if I remember correctly,” she added with a hollow laugh.

“Yeah but only because everyone else at this school is a total dumbass. Oh sorry I meant…” Emma burst out into a full belly laugh so Alyssa didn’t bother to correct her language. Instead she took the moment to memorize that sound because it was without a doubt the best noise she had ever heard. Far better than the empty chuckle Emma forced just moments before. 

Alyssa continued to watch in awe as Emma’s laugh died down. “Sorry, I just never thought I’d hear Alyssa Greene say ‘dumbass’.”

“Honestly? I’ve never said that word out loud before but I stand by it.” And the two girls giggled again. 

Appearing more relaxed, Emma moved across the room and grabbed her jacket before folding it up and laying it on top of a nearby crate. “Did you want to sit? It’s not the comfiest but the jacket helps a bit.”

It was a small gesture but enough to make Alyssa’s stomach flip. “Yes, thank you.” She set her backpack, presents, and flowers beside Emma’s things before sitting down.

Emma settled herself two crates over from the one where Alyssa sat. “So, 18. Any big plans now that you’re officially a legal adult?”

“Mostly just buying ladders and renting my very own porta potty.” Alyssa was rewarded another chuckle from the blonde. “And I think I’m gonna go to San Francisco.”

“Wait, really? Alyssa, that’s great!” Emma beamed at her with pride before her face got a little more concerned. “And what about your mom?”

“Well, that is still an issue. But I think she’ll be okay with it in time.” Alyssa chewed on her lip in thought. “But it’ll be worth it no matter what. I’m actually really excited about it! Ya know, when I’m not worrying about my mother’s wrath.”

“I’m super proud of you, Alyssa. You really deserve this.” Emma smiled so tenderly that there wasn’t an ounce of Alyssa that didn’t believe her. 

“I wouldn’t be so confident about going if it wasn’t for the present. Have I said thank you yet?” 

“Once I think.” Emma replied with an amused smirk.

Alyssa rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop her grin as she leaned over and playfully pushed Emma’s shoulder. “I should probably get going. I don’t want to give my mother any extra reasons to be upset with me.” 

She grabbed her backpack and presents and was halfway through the door when Emma called after her again. “Hey wait.”

When Alyssa turned back, Emma was just a step away from her holding out the flowers. She knew they weren’t actually from the other girl but the image still sent an unfamiliar feeling through her chest. “Oh yeah those.”

“It almost sounds like you left them on purpose. You know, most girls would kill for someone to bring them flowers.” Emma raised an eyebrow as Alyssa grabbed them.

“Great, I’ll give them Greg’s number.” Alyssa mumbled. 

Emma tried to bite back her smile. “I wouldn’t have guessed you to be a carnation girl.”

“I’m really not. Sun flowers are my favorite, which I’ve definitely told him before but it’s the thought that counts I guess.”

“Doesn’t really sound like there was much thought if he still bought the wrong flowers” Emma rebuked. 

“Well they can’t all be as thoughtful as you,” Alyssa smiled softly at Emma while she held up the gift bag containing the snow globe. She noticed a new shade start to rise up Emma’s cheeks. “I’ll see ya around, Emma.”

And God, how she hoped that was true.

//

Ever since her birthday, Alyssa couldn’t stop thinking about Emma Nolan. She liked to believe she lived her life without regrets but suddenly she had a big one and that was not befriending Emma years ago. Of course Alyssa cared for Kaylee and Shelby but if they weren’t in cheer together and their parents weren’t friends, she couldn’t confidently say they would still hangout. Emma was different though. In just one day of talking to her Alyssa was absolutely certain that they could be friends that stand the test of time and she wanted nothing more than to try and make that happen. If Emma could be so kind to Alyssa before even really knowing her, she couldn’t even begin to imagine what being friends with her would be like. It didn’t stop her from trying though.

Alyssa let her mind wander to what kind of movies Emma liked to watch and what kind of music she might listen to and what tv shows could make her laugh in that joyous way Alyssa loved so much. Did she like to play board games? She definitely seemed like the type to not only enjoy board games but probably be annoyingly and naturally great at them. For the sake of finding out, she decided she would have to challenge Emma to a game of Settlers of Catan. 

How long, she wondered, would they have to be friends before Emma would play something for her? The brunette couldn’t help but muse about how nice it would be to not have to listen to her from behind a closet door anymore. 

Alyssa was so lost in daydreams of being Emma’s friend that she didn’t hear her teacher calling her name at first. “Alyssa, Principal Hawkins would like to see you in his office whenever you get your head out of the clouds.”

Half the class snickered at the teachers comment and the other half oooh’d at her being sent to the principals office. Alyssa rolled her eyes and tried to maintain a cool demeanor even though she knew there was a faint blush forming on her cheeks. She made her way to the administration hall with a hopeful idea as to what this was about.

The day after her birthday she had gone to Mr Hawkins to sign up for the senior trip. 

“I’m sorry, Alyssa, but the deadline to sign up for the trip was March 31st. We’ve already booked flights and hotels and given final numbers for the tours and all dinner reservations. It’s just not possible.”

Alyssa’s heart dropped and she tried to hold back tears as she listened. She knew the deadline had passed but she thought perhaps it was close enough that she could still sneak in. Words weren’t forming so she settled for simply nodding and offering whatever smile she could muster. Mr. Hawkins did mention that if anyone had to drop out she could go in their place but she was trying not to get her hopes up. 

Now as Alyssa walked to his office for the second time this month, she couldn’t help but feel optimistic. Of course she would feel bad that someone else had to miss out but it certainly didn’t outweigh her desire to go. She knocked eagerly before entering the room. The principal had his chair turned around but was humming and tapping his pen in such a jovial manner that it was almost contagious and made Alyssa do a little skip closer to the chair before sitting down. When he turned around he had a smile to match his peppy aura. “Great news, Alyssa! It turns out there is a student who is missing some crucial credits and won’t be graduating this year!”

“That is, um, great?” Alyssa was still smiling but raised a questioning eyebrow towards Mr Hawkins.

“Oh well of course it’s not great but it does mean a spot opened up for you to go on the senior trip. Which is great! You can fill their spot on the plane and for the tours and what not. The only issue that still stands is the room. The student who will be forced to drop out is a male student and all the other rooms for the girls are full. Except one…”

“That’s okay! I don’t care who it is. I can even sleep on the floor!” Alyssa was so close to going on this trip she could already smell the ocean air.

“I’m happy to hear that, Alyssa. We just have to check with the other student as she specifically requested a single. She should be here any moment.”

As if on cue, there was a light and hesitant knock on the door. “Ah perfect timing! Please come in!” Mr Hawkins called.

Putting on her most charming smile, Alyssa turned in her chair to see who she would be groveling to for a room. As the other student entered the office, Alyssa’s eyes grew and an excited gasp escaped her throat.

”Thank you for coming to my office, Emma. Please have a seat.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you to everyone who read and left comments and kudos. The kind words of encouragement mean a lot!

Alyssa knew she probably looked like a complete loon right now. Her smile was basically breaking her face in half and she couldn’t get her feet to stop dancing excitedly. There were only two things that had been on her mind lately and now they were both practically being thrown right into her lap. Not only was she going to get to go to San Francisco but she was also getting the excuse she’d been praying for to spend more time with Emma. Well, maybe. Emma still hadn’t technically said it would be okay for them to bunk together but it’s not like she would actually say no. Right?

Doubts began to flood into Alyssa’s thoughts. Just because Emma had approached her first in the hall and then didn’t turn her away from the band closet didn’t necessarily mean Emma was also enjoying time with Alyssa. Perhaps she was simply just being polite. After all, they hadn’t even spoken again since her birthday. It made sense for Alyssa to be drawn to Emma as a friend, but what did Alyssa have to offer someone so compassionate and authentic and interesting? Alyssa’s feet were now still and her smile dropped along with her shoulders. Her eyes grew in anticipation of what Emma would decide. If she didn’t look crazy earlier, the roller coaster of emotions she had just experienced in the last five seconds was sure to do the job.

Emma was seated in the chair next to Alyssa at this point, head down and fingers tapping her thigh to a disorderly beat. Alyssa had never seen her so anxious and it took every last drop of willpower she had to not reach out in an attempt to soothe her. Instead she just offered a warm expression in case Emma decided to look up. 

“Emma, thank you for meeting us. I’m sure you’re wondering why you were called in today and what Alyssa has to do with this,” the principal began.

Keeping her head down, Emma nodded.

“Well, it’s actually a bit of a big deal. Alyssa approached me last week with her issue and ever since we have been busy looking for a solution,” he continued.

Emma’s tapping increased in pace and her head was sinking lower.

“After examining all the different scenarios and taking into consideration that we never want our students to feel uncomfortable…”

Alyssa saw something glisten and fall from the tip of Emma’s nose. Was she crying? Was the idea of rooming with Alyssa so terrible that Emma was tearing up at simply the thought? Alyssa buried her face in her hands, drowning in disbelief of how horribly this was going down.

“… so we figured it was only right that we ask for your consent to have Alyssa stay in your room for the senior trip.” Mr. Hawkins finished.

Emma faintly shook her head and Alyssa braced herself for heartbreak. “That’s what I was called in here for? You wanted to ask if _I_ was okay with Alyssa sharing a room with me for the senior trip?” Her voice was as small as she looked in that moment but she finally lifted her head.

Alyssa still couldn’t bring herself to look at Emma but responded nevertheless, “Yeah, it was just a thought we had but it’s okay. I can ask someone else to sleep on the floor or something.“

“No! I mean, yes. I mean,” Emma took a deep breath to collect her thoughts before continuing. “No don’t ask someone else and yes you can room with me.” 

For the first time that day, the girls finally met eyes. Emma looked as relieved as Alyssa felt and it made her curious as to everything the other girl was thinking. She could inquire about that at another time though. All that mattered was that Alyssa was officially attending the senior trip and getting to stay with her potential new friend. She let out a contented sigh. “Thank you, Emma.”

“Well that is good news! Congratulations, Alyssa! You are officially all set for San Francisco!” Mr. Hawkins thanked Emma as he wrote the girls passes to get back to class. 

As the two entered the hallway, Alyssa checked her watch. The last period of the day had already begun and Alyssa had no interest in going. After the emotional whiplash she experienced in Mr Hawkin’s office, she was exhausted and could use some fresh air and her instinct was telling her Emma might feel the same way. “Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Please.” 

They still hadn’t exchanged a word but it didn’t bother Alyssa. The walk to the parking lot was filled with a comfortable silence. As they got closer, Alyssa realized she didn’t have a plan beyond just leaving. She stopped suddenly and Emma glanced over at her. Interrupting the quiet, Alyssa bluntly stated “I don’t have a car.”

Something about that must have struck Emma funny because she let out a hearty laugh. Alyssa chuckled too because she couldn’t help but not whenever the blonde laughed. ”We can take mine.”

They still never spoke about where they were going or why but Alyssa completely trusted Emma, who was now holding the door open for her so she could climb in the truck. Emma told Alyssa she could turn on whatever music she liked, but she declined, saying she was happy with the peaceful atmosphere. Emma gave a small nod of agreement and they continued to drive listening to nothing but the hum of the truck. 

After fifteen or so minutes of driving, Emma pulled off onto a dirt road that was nearly hidden. If Alyssa had been the driver, she wouldn’t even have noticed it. The road led into a thick patch of trees and Alyssa wasn’t sure how the truck was making it through or if there was even still a path they were following, but Emma seemed sure of where she was going and that was all that mattered to Alyssa. They drove on for fifteen minutes more and just as it felt like the trees were becoming too dense to go on, Emma brought the truck to a stop and put it in park. 

As Emma stepped out of the truck, Alyssa thought perhaps she got lost so she waited, unsure what to do. Emma made her way around to Alyssa’s door and opened it. “We’re almost there. I promise.”

Alyssa followed her without any reservations as they walked a bit more into the trees before Emma pulled a branch out the way, making an opening for them in the process. A light was shining through the new entryway and Emma motioned for Alyssa to go first. 

The brunette was not sure what to expect, but she was certainly not disappointed. She now stood at the outer edge of a small meadow. The entire expanse was covered in wildflowers of every color and in the middle was a lone tree, rich with green leaves. The tree itself felt massive but that could have just been in comparison to the open field surrounding it. It’s branches hung low enough to touch the ground and Alyssa’s inner child wanted to go explore inside. There was a faint sound of running water and the song of birds communicating. “Emma, this is absolutely breathtaking.” 

“Come on, there’s one more thing.” 

As Emma led her to the tree, Alyssa stopped for a moment and pulled out her phone. She snapped a quick picture knowing she wouldn’t want to forget this moment or this place. She skipped to catch back up with the other girl. As they approached, she followed Emma around and was surprised to find that the other side of the tree had branches that sat higher, providing shade and a view. Hanging from the tree was a wooden bench swing. Despite it’s age, it still looked sturdy. Without even thinking, Alyssa sat upon it. She patted the spot next to her hoping Emma would sit down as well. When Emma shyly shook her head, Alyssa put on her best puppy dog face before trying again. Emma rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide the smile playing at the corner of her lips as she made her way over to join the brunette. “How did you find this place, Emma?”

“My grandpa used to bring me here all the time when I was young. He’s actually the one who built this swing. He’d let me play in the stream or climb the tree. We’d always finish our day together by picking the prettiest wildflowers to take back to my grandma. And in the off seasons when the flowers weren’t in bloom, we would stop at the store on the way back to pick out a bouquet to take instead.”

Alyssa had never seen Emma so at peace before than now as she reminisced on the childhood memories. “Your grandpa sounds like an amazing man.”

“He really was,” Emma said thoughtfully. “Even if he did have me snipe hunting up until an embarrassing age.”

It was Alyssa’s turn to burst out laughing. “Oh no! How old, Emma?”

“No. I’ve already said too much.”

“Fine, let’s put it in terms like this. On a scale of ‘Finding out not all cats are female and not all dogs are male’ to ‘Learning that swallowing a watermelon seed won’t really grow one in your stomach’, how old were you?”

“Hmmm… Maybe somewhere between ‘Discovering eating carrots everyday won’t actually make your need for glasses go away’ and ‘Realizing that Alyssa Greene is indeed capable of being a smart ass’.” 

“Hey!” Alyssa exclaimed, swatting at Emma’s arm before the two erupted into a fit of giggles. This moment was a nice contrast with the way they started their day together. The laughter gradually died out enough for Alyssa to ask what had been on her mind since they left Principal Hawkin’s office. “Emma, what is the real reason you thought you were called into the office with me today?”

“Uh, I thought it was about the room thing.” Emma’s body began reading as timid again, despite her best efforts to state that convincingly. 

“For someone so good at performing, you really aren’t a great liar.” Alyssa gave her a soft smile and a playful nudge. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to though. I just thought you really didn’t want to share a room with me.”

“No, that wasn’t it. Actually, that was kind of the opposite of what I thought was happening.” Emma sighed deeply and rubbed a hand on the back of her neck before looking back out in the field again. “When I saw you in the office while Mr Hawkin’s was going on about “situations” and “students feeling uncomfortable”… Well, it just felt all too familiar. I guess I was worried I was wrong about you.” 

“Wrong about me how?” Alyssa asked, barely louder than a whisper.

“It made me think that maybe you didn’t view me differently than the other kids at our school. That you also thought I was gross and creepy. That you weren’t talking to me to be nice but rather to trick me into some prank or…” Emma’s voice trailed off.

“Oh Emma.” Alyssa turned toward her and wrapped her into a hug, both arms going around her shoulders. After a second, she felt Emma relax into the embrace. Alyssa took this moment to move one of her hands up so she was gently holding the back of Emma’s head. “I never have and I never will think any of those things about you. You are such a wonderful and interesting and kindhearted person and all I’ve thought about the last few weeks is how much I would like to be friends with you.”

“Really?” Emma mumbled into Alyssa’s shoulder. The brunette didn’t notice, but she had been squeezing Emma tighter with each reassuring word. She quickly released Emma before she suffocated the poor girl. 

“Yes really! If you’d like that too, of course.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that too.” They exchanged content smiles.

The two stayed in the meadow a bit longer discussing how excited they were for the trip and which activities they were most anticipating. Alyssa insisted that they exchanged numbers so they could coordinate packing, because it didn’t make sense for them both to bring shampoo and conditioner and whatnot when they’d be sharing a space. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t just ask for Emma’s number outright. They had agreed to be friends and friends have each others number. But there was still an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach just thinking about asking the other girl for it, ergo the lame packing excuse. Emma had agreed however and that was all that matter. 

They stayed a while more, enjoying the tranquility, but as the sun started to set they decided it would be best to head back before it got too dark. Alyssa made sure to thank Emma for trusting her enough to bring her to the meadow. It was just she needed. 

Once in the car, Alyssa asked Emma if it was still okay for her to control the music. After gaining permission, Alyssa plugged her phone in and knew immediately what she wanted to play. She turned up the volume and as the music started to fill the truck, Emma let out a dramatic groan. “Alyssa!” The brunette simply smirked as they started their drive back to town blasting “Imagine”.

//

If anyone ever asked Alyssa to explain the five stages of grief to them, she would tell about the time she informed her mother about the senior trip.

“That’s not possible, Alyssa. You can’t go without your parents permission. I don’t care if you’re 18. You’re still the kid and and I’m still the mom.” _Denial._

“Are you doing this to hurt me? I have given you everything and this is how you thank me? By betraying me and going against my wishes? How could you be so ungrateful?” _Anger._

“How about you stay here and we can plan a trip just the two of us? We can go wherever you like, within reason of course. Pam, you know the nice lady who plays the piano at church, was just telling me about this life-changing Christian cruise she went on. I bet it’s not too late to book us two spots!” _Bargaining._

“We have so little time before you move away. Every minute together counts and to have another week taken away from us, to be alone in this house the whole time… I just don’t know how I can cope.” _Depression._

“If this is important enough for you to go behind my back, I hope it’s worth it. I will expect a copy of your itinerary, flights, the address of where you are staying and a call from you each day.” _Acceptance (or as close as she was going to get to it)._

Alyssa hugged her mom tight and mumbled a series of apologies and thank you’s before running upstairs. It was getting too hard to breathe down there and she was experiencing a mixture of emotions. Her mother’s reaction wasn’t the best but it also could have gone much worse. If she was being honest, she thought it would drag on for days before her mother accepted it so she was at least thankful for that. Although she was sure that it wasn’t the last time they would talk about it, she was happy the first step was over.

She pulled out her phone and opened up a group text with her, Kaylee, and Shelby. Emma, Mr Hawkins, and now her mother were still the only people who knew. Partly because she didn’t want to tell someone and have it get back to her mother and the other half being that it didn’t feel official until she confronted her mom. As she started typing up a message for the girls, one came in from Kaylee.

**Kaylee: Nick isn’t going on the trip anymore!!!**

****

**Shelby: What?! Why not?**

****

**Kaylee: He said San Francisco is lame and he decided it wasn’t worth his time or money.**

Alyssa stared at her phone in disbelief for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. Nick was the student whose place she took, the student who wasn’t graduating. She knew it probably wasn’t right to be so amused that her friends boyfriend wasn’t going on the trip, but she couldn’t help it. Nick was probably the biggest jerk out of all them when it came to Emma. 

**Shelby: Weird. He seemed so excited about it last week. I wonder what changed.**

****

****

**Kaylee: He said he researched it more and there is apparently a high gay population there. He’s worried about being hit on and didn’t feel safe anymore.**

Alyssa could feel her blood boiling and it took everything in her not to call him out for the flunking loser he was right then and there. She knew she should just put her phone down but she couldn’t stop herself from sending one text.

**Alyssa: I really doubt he’d have to worry about that, but it’s too bad you two won’t have this trip together.**

She quickly closed out of her messages before she said too much and dialed Emma’s number. 

“Hello?” Emma answered.

“Ugh you will not BELIEVE the Sunday I’ve had. I told my mom about the trip and lived to tell the tale, barely. And the student who had to drop out because he couldn’t graduate and opened up a spot for me? Nick! And do you know the reason he’s giving for not attending anymore? He’s saying he doesn’t want to go now because of the gay population there and that he’s worried about them coming onto him. As if any guy would ever be interested in his lame ass. It’s a good thing he’s not going because I’d probably hire someone to push him off the Golden Gate Bridge. Heck, he’s so stupid they could probably just throw something shiny off of it and he’d jump right after it.” 

“Wow. I haven’t even had breakfast yet and you’ve already slain a dragon and planned first degree murder.” Emma chuckled lightly.

“If we went with my last idea, I’d probably only get pinned with manslaughter.” Alyssa let out a deep sigh. “I just hate him so much. He’s always so awful to you and it makes me sick to my stomach. I couldn’t imagine you having to put up with his shit on this trip too.”

“Hey, Alyssa, it’s okay.” Emma spoke calmly. “You don’t have to imagine it because he’s not going anymore. And I have to say, I like his replacement a lot more.”

Emma’s last comment launched Alyssa’s stomach into somersaults. She knew Nick hadn’t really set the bar high, but the implication that Emma liked her to any degree was still exhilarating. All Alyssa could manage was a thoughtful hum before Emma asked how the conversation with her mother went. She filled her in on the events of her morning and soon they were talking about anything and everything, hardly noticing that minutes were quickly turning into hours. Conversation with Emma came so naturally and if Alyssa’s mother hadn’t called her down for dinner, she doesn’t think they ever would have stopped talking and she would have been absolutely content with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the trip will actually begin next chapter! This one just became a little longer than planned.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short but I started really outlining the rest of the story and got overwhelmed! Please forgive me!

The rest of the semester flew by in a blur. Between final exams, end of the year club ceremonies, and preparation for her valedictorian speech, Alyssa didn’t have much time to spend with Emma before their trip. It didn’t stop them from coming up with excuses though. They had study sessions when they could and Emma let Alyssa practice her speech in front of her. Despite their busy schedules, they both made the best of it.

After finding out that Nick didn’t graduate , Kaylee decided it was time to end things with him. Claiming solidarity, Shelby broke up with Kevin as well. Alyssa couldn’t see why that was necessary but she certainly wasn’t going to object. Maybe with both her friends being single, they could actually have fun on this trip. In even more wishful thinking, maybe without Nick’s influence they might even come around to Emma.

Shortly after finding out about the trip, Mrs Greene tried vehemently to become a chaperone. Knowing there wasn’t much her mom couldn’t accomplish if she put her mind to it, Alyssa had been quite anxious as she waited outside Principal Hawkin’s office. It wasn’t long before her mother stormed out muttering “That man is impossible!” before giving Alyssa a kiss on the head and reminding her to be home by six. Just as Alyssa was leaving, she could have sworn she saw Mr. Hawkin’s shoot her a knowing wink.

Besides her failed attempt at going along on the trip and the occasional snide remarks about her daughter “abandoning” her, Mrs Greene had actually been pretty bearable. She even helped Alyssa pack and took her shopping to get the last of what she needed. When she dropped her daughter off at the airport, she was able to hold back her tears as she hugged her tight and wished her a safe trip. Alyssa didn’t know if she was more proud or grateful for how far her mom had come. 

As she made her way into the airport, she looked around hoping to find Emma but was distracted by excited squeals. She turned to see Kaylee and Shelby skipping towards her chanting “Senior Trip! Senior Trip!”. Scanning once more and still not seeing Emma, she gave in and joined the girls in their song and dance. They checked their bags and made their way to security. 

While they stood in line for TSA, Kaylee and Shelby got into a very compelling discussion about all the boys they could meet while traveling. Apparently Alyssa had been too hopeful about both of her friends being boy free this trip. She quickly zoned out of the conversation and sent Emma a text asking where she was. She put her phone away and couldn't help but overhear another group of girls standing in front of her talking about where their seats were on the plane. One of the three girls was annoyed with where she was sitting and wouldn’t stop complaining about it. Pulling out her boarding pass, Alyssa turned back to her friends and asked “Hey where are you two sitting?”

“We’re 22 C and D. Since we signed up on time we got to pick our seats!”

“Huh, okay…” Alyssa trailed off as she took in that information. If these tickets started out as Nick’s, that means…

“Hey! Alyssa! Excuse me, sorry. Hey!” Greg was pushing through the line and making his way toward her. 

She turned around, suppressing a groan and closing her eyes tight before putting on a pathetic smile and turning back around. “Hey Greg. What’s up?”

“Hi! I was so excited when I heard you were taking Nick’s spot on the trip. I’ll miss my buddy but if I’m being honest I’d much rather have you along.”

Alyssa couldn’t help but notice a stark contrast between when Emma had said the same thing that day on the phone. Coming from Emma, it caused a thrilling sensation to shoot through her body and made her feel so alive. And now, with Greg saying almost the same thing, she felt absolutely nothing. Maybe a little more tired, but that could’ve just been a result of this ungodly hour that they were meant to leave. 

Ignoring her friends standing behind him waggling their eyebrows and mouthing _told you so_ , she responded, “Yeah, I’m happy I could tag along too.”

“So if you have Nick’s ticket, I guess that makes up airplane buddies.” He gave her a wide smile that she was probably supposed to find charming. 

Mid yawn she managed, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I downloaded some movies that I thought you might like! I’ve got High School Musical, High School Musical 2, High School Musical 3, 17 Again-“ He was abruptly cut off by another student yelling at him to get back to his spot in line. “Gotta go but I’ll see ya on the plane!”

She didn’t know what sounded worse: 5 hours of Greg or 5 hours of Zac Efron. What she did know was that she really didn’t want to find out. She had to switch spots with someone and she had to do it now.

Her eyes landed back on the girl from earlier who had been moaning about her seat. She crossed her fingers behind her back with one hand and tapped the girls shoulder with the other. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear how upset you were with your seat. It’s going to be a long flight and it would be awful to be stuck somewhere you’re unhappy for five hours. I could switch with you if you’d like?” 

The girl couldn’t reply “YES” fast enough and Alyssa almost didn’t hear her mumble “sucker” under her breath before she turned to her friends to share the news. Perhaps Alyssa should have asked what was so bad about the seat anyways but she figured whatever it was couldn’t be worse than a High School Musical marathon. 

Not before long, they made it through TSA. Kaylee and Shelby wanted to grab smoothies and Alyssa told them she’d meet up later. She still hadn’t received a reply from Emma and she was starting to get antsy. It had been far too long for Alyssa’s liking since the two were together. The lols and emoticons they exchanged in texts simply weren't the same as experiencing an Emma Nolan laugh or smile in person.

As Alyssa turned the corner to check one last spot, she collided with someone and was met with hot liquid spilling down the front of her clothes. 

“Oh I’m sorry!“ “Are you okay?” The two spoke at the same time just before Alyssa realized who it was. 

“Emma!” She lunged towards the girl wrapping her arms around her neck for the contact she had so desperately been missing. After a moment of pause, Emma gently slipped her arms around Alyssa’s waist. Alyssa was noting how warm this hug was compared to previous ones when she suddenly remembered that she was soaked in fluid. Pulling back and checking Emma out, she apologized “Oh no, I got you wet!”

Her poor choice of words sent them into a race of who could blush the fastest. 

“It’s okay. It’ll dry.” Emma glanced down at the two now empty cups on the ground. “I, uh, had got us coffee.”

“You are too good to me, Emma Nolan.” She smiled softly at the other girl. As tired as she was, coffee would’ve been perfect. Only Emma would think to do something so kind for her. She really did hit the friend jackpot with this one and she’ll never know how she got so lucky. Or how she made it this far in life without her.

They quickly cleaned up the spill as best as they could and apologized profusely to the airport employee who had to mop up the rest of their mess. Then they went to the restroom to wash their clothes the best they could and when Alyssa wouldn’t stop giving apologetic glances to Emma, the blonde continued to reassure her that it was fine and she was happy to smell of coffee.

As they finished washing up, Emma asked where Alyssa was sitting and she explained that she wasn’t sure yet as she changed places last minute with another girl. Emma listened supportively as she filled her in on the most recent Greg situation. Alyssa was so grateful to have a friend that didn’t try to encourage her to pursue him for the sake of having a boyfriend. It was nice to feel so understood.

Emma went ahead onto the plane while Alyssa waited for that girl. She really should have gotten her name, but it was a little late for that now. After she located her and they headed through the boarding gate, they swapped passes. As Alyssa walked down the aisle and passed Greg, who was already sitting with his new airplane buddy looking sad and confused, she put on her best pitiful facade and mouthed _sorry._

She reread the number on her new pass. 28A. This plane wasn’t as big as the ones she had been on before and she figured that had to have been close to if not the last row. When she got there, she giggled with excitement as she saw Emma was in 28B. She already had her headphones in and was bobbing along to music. Alyssa gently tapped her shoulder. “Excuse me, miss, is this seat taken?”

Emma chuckled. “Ya know, a normal person might call this stalking.”

“Well a more evolved person might call it destiny.” Emma gulped and Alyssa winked as she passed over Emma to reach her seat. “Ya know, after taking Nick’s spot on the trip and randomly swapping places with someone only to end up near you, I’m beginning to think I’m the luckiest person in the world. Should we buy lottery tickets?” 

“If your luck can get this plane safely to San Francisco, we can buy whatever you’d like.” Emma mumbled. 

“Ah, not a fan of flying?”

“Well, I’ve never actually flown before but nothing about being miles up in the air with only death below us seems very appealing.” 

“If it helps, you’re more likely to die from food poising than a plane crash.”

“No, that doesn’t help. Now I’ll die of starvation.” 

Alyssa rolled her eyes and said “Here.”

Emma watched with curiosity as Alyssa stood up and began to cross over her again. Just as Emma was about to ask where she was going, Alyssa stopped in front of her, back facing Emma. Before she knew what was happening, Alyssa was squatting and rubbing her behind on Emma’s thighs. Emma choked. “Alyssa! What are you doing?!” she whispered in a panic.

Alyssa stopped and sat back down. She wasn’t sure what inclined her do that. She had only meant it as a joke and certainly didn’t expect the close contact to send such a warm feeling low into her stomach. Trying to remain casual, she explained “I was rubbing my good luck onto you.”

“And your luck is in… there?” Emma was still trying to regain her senses.

“Duh. Have you seen my butt?” Alyssa didn’t know where the confidence came from but she selfishly loved what it was doing to Emma.

“Good point…” Emma responded absentmindedly before realization set in and she became flush again. 

Resting a hand on Emma’s arm, Alyssa said “But in all seriousness, you’re gonna be fine. I promise.”

And she was right. Emma had handled take off surprisingly well, which is arguably one of the worst parts of flying. After the plane steadied out and conversation between the two started to slow down, Emma asked Alyssa if she wanted to watch High School Musical, which resulted in a playful shove from the brunette. Alyssa instead offered Brooklyn 99, which she had already downloaded onto her laptop. They had to share one set of earphones and despite their best efforts to stay still, they kept falling out at the slightest movements. “Hold on” Alyssa mumbled as she paused the show to try and problem solve. She put the arm rest between them up. Tucking her legs to the side, she leaned up against Emma. Being so close to her sent shivers through Alyssa’s body. She looked at Emma, whose face was now only inches from hers and asked, barely above whisper “Is this okay?” Emma nodded without hesitation and they resumed their show. 

She wasn’t sure if it was from how tired she was or because of how comfortable she felt laying against Emma but at some point she had drifted off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Alyssa must’ve been far more exhausted than she thought because she remained asleep until they landed and Emma gently shook her awake. Alyssa made sure to call her mom to let her know they arrived safely. They talked for a bit but when Mrs. Greene reminded Alyssa to turn on her location in Find Friends, she made terrible static noise and hung up. 

They headed to their hotel so they had all the time they needed to check in, unpack, and shower if they wanted to before heading to an early dinner. Since they gained three hours, everyone was pretty worn out from traveling and definitely not objecting to an early night. 

After they received their room number and key, Alyssa and Emma started towards the elevator. Alyssa casually mentioned that they could probably get to their room quicker taking the stairs. When Emma responded with “It’s on the fifth floor. No way are the stairs faster. You’re wrong.”, she instantly regretted it.

“You’re on!” was all she heard as Alyssa picked up her suitcase and bolted into the stairwell. Emma should have known that last phrase would set off the brunette’s competitive instincts. All she could do was chuckle at her friend as she stepped into the elevator. 

To neither’s surprise, Emma was greeted by a very out of breath Alyssa when she reached the fifth floor. Their walk - or rather, Emma’s walk to the door was accompanied by a dancing Alyssa singing something along the lines of “You said I couldn’t do it but I diiiiid it! Who told you so? I told you so. Who told you so? —“ to which she held out an imaginary microphone towards Emma. 

“I’m not going to say it.”

“Who told you so?”

“Nope.

“Whooo told you so?”

“It’s not happening.”

“Well I have both room keys so if you ever expect us to actually enter… Who told you so?” They had reached their door and Alyssa’s back was resting against it while Emma stood in front of her. One of the room keys was now Alyssa’s newest dance prop. She was waving it up above Emma, who despite her best efforts to seem disinterested was clearly amused.

“Alyssa, this isn’t going to work well for you. I’m taller.” Another challenge. Alyssa thought for a moment before shoving the key into her bra. 

Emma’s grin disappeared and she got a look in her eyes that Alyssa couldn’t quite place but was enough to stop her breath. The blonde took a step forward so they were only inches apart and then her eyes flickered to the card so quickly that if Alyssa had blinked she would’ve missed it. Was the hallway always this warm? 

“You told me so.” Emma’s voice was low and smooth and Alyssa probably should have given her key back now that she had gotten what she asked for but suddenly she felt like she wanted something else. If she could just figure out what it was…

_Ding._

They heard chatter start up and the elevator doors open as a group of students got off on their floor. Emma jumped back while Alyssa fumbled to retrieve the key. She quickly opened the door and entered the room. Emma mumbled something about showering before dinner and Alyssa was thankful to have some space to breathe. There was a cot set up in the room and Alyssa wondered who had requested it: Emma or Mr Hawkins. Not seeing a need for it, she used it to lay her suitcase out.

Once the bathroom door had been closed and she heard the shower start, Alyssa fell onto the bed and buried her face in her pillow. There was no denying that Alyssa had always been exhilarated by Emma. Anytime their arms brushed or they embraced or, heck, even just when their eyes met Alyssa was sure to feel some sort of excitement. But that, out there in the hallway, was different. A very very _good_ different.

Then again, Alyssa had never had a friend she was so close to, a friend she could be 100% herself around. It was a new experience to have such an intense friendship so it made sense for these feelings to be unfamiliar, right? This was all new territory for her. 

Whatever was going on, overthinking it was no use. It would be best if she’d just think about something else. Something besides Emma or the moment out in the hallway or the way her breath caught when she so brilliantly rubbed her “luck” on her or the bed she was sitting on that the two would be sharing or the shower that the girl-

“Uh Alyssa?” 

Thank goodness the blonde couldn’t see her because her face flooded with ten shades of red as she called through the door “Yes, Emma?”

“You brought the shampoo and conditioner, right?”

_Coordinate packing. Great idea, Alyssa._ She grabbed the things Emma needed, loudly announced she was coming in, and set the supplies on the counter before quickly escaping back into the room. Clearly she wasn’t going to be able to think of anything else while she was still in such close proximity to Emma.

“I’m gonna go find Kaylee and Shelby’s room. I’ll be back in a bit!” She yelled before grabbing her key and slipping out. She shot them a text for their room number and made her way down a floor. They had left their door open for her and she walked on in and threw herself down on the bed. Kaylee was doing her make up at the mirror and Shelby joined Alyssa on the mattress. 

“Girl, what the hell happened on the plane? It’s bad enough that you have to room with her but then you had to spend the entire flight with Emma too?” Kaylee chided.

“Emma’s my friend, Kaylee. I am happy to share a room with her and I was happy to sit by her on the plane.” 

“Fine, but that was precious time you lost with Greg! That whore who took your seat was ALL over him the whole time. She’s totally trying to make a move on your man.” Kaylee continued and Shelby idly picked at her nails.

“He’s not my man. If she wants to go for him, I wish her luck.”

“Alyssa, I know you’re really committed to this playing hard bit but if you don’t give in soon he’s gonna get bored.” 

“God, Kaylee, I’m not playing hard to get. I just don’t like Greg like that!” 

A small “Oh” came from the doorway and all three girls shot their head to find a defeated Greg. 

Alyssa tried to call after him but he was already gone by the time she got off the bed and reached the hall. She knew she owed him an apology and an explanation, but this day had been long enough and they still had dinner to go to. Maybe she could catch him on their way back and give him a proper conversation. Besides, she was getting really hungry and she knew she wasn’t very pleasant on an empty stomach.

//

The little space Emma and Alyssa took had paid off because after Alyssa returned to their room, everything felt just as normal and natural as ever. Or perhaps the weirdness had only been one sided on Alyssa’s part. Maybe Emma didn’t think anything of it and it was simply all in Alyssa’s head. After all, she did have a tendency to overthink things. 

Although the restaurant was literally right next door, the girls were still late to dinner. The two had been caught up in a game of War and neither was willing to give in. Especially not Emma, who had already lost to Alyssa twice that day. Maybe it was the luck Alyssa passed on earlier or sheer determination to not lose a third time, but Emma came out victorious. “You may only address me as General Nolan from here on out, Private.”

Alyssa laughed. “More like Post Master General if anything.”

“Sure laugh it up but do you know who our first Post Master General was?”

“No but I have a feeling I’m about to find out.” Alyssa mumbled.

“Benjamin Franklin. And he did pretty well for himself.”

Alyssa held up her fingers to frame Emma’s face, prompting the girl to do her best impression of the founding father. “Ya know, you two may have more similarities than just your passion for postal services. You’re both whip smart, you could practically be twins, you’re both great with the ladies…” 

They both paused, and Alyssa’s eyes grew in panic. If her foot wasn’t in her mouth, she’d use it to kick herself. The two had never discussed Emma’s sexuality so Alyssa didn’t know for certain that Emma was even into girls. Just as Alyssa was about to apologize, Emma spoke. “Do you really think I’m as handsome at Benjamin Franklin?”

Alyssa let out a relieved laugh and bumped Emma’s shoulder with her own, “I really do, General Dork.” Emma rewarded her with a satisfied smile.

When they entered the dining room, everyone else was already sitting and partly through their meal. They didn’t realize how late they were running and their teacher gave them a half-assed lecture on the importance of punctuality. Emma nodded and Alyssa apologized before they made their way down to grab plates. She passed by Greg and tried to wave but he averted his attention to the girl from the plane. 

The two filled their plates with all kinds of yummy pasta and bread before sitting down at the last two spots at the table. As the other kids finished, they dumped their plates in the trash and headed back to the hotel. The dinning room was quieting down and not many people remained. Not that it mattered much to Alyssa though. Whether the room was full or empty, for Alyssa, it was just her and Emma, making dumb jokes and laughing at nothing. 

Just as they were almost done, Alyssa noticed Greg walking their way with a full plate spaghetti. This wasn’t her ideal environment to have their talk but she knew she couldn’t turn him away. She started to take a deep breath for courage but was distracted by snickering from the girl he had been sitting with. What the heck was her name? Greg looked back at the girl with a - spiteful? - smile. Whatever it was, it was definitely out of character for the normally cheery, kind boy. It was when the girl pulled out her phone and aimed it their way that it all started to click.

Time started to slow as realization set in for Alyssa. Yes, Greg was walking in her direction, but not to her. His eyes weren’t on her. They were on Emma. She stood up as quickly as she could and jumped between them just in time to intercept the plate of spaghetti being thrown at her friend. 

She stood, frozen in shock of what had actually just happened. There were noodles and sauce all in her hair and on her face and chest. The room was silent besides a few snickers and the sound of camera’s clicking. She wiped the cold sludge away from her eyes the best she could. Keeping her head held high, she stared Greg in the eyes. “We’re not in high school anymore. It’s time you grew up.” Then turning to face those who were laughing, “It’s time everybody grew up.”

She then felt Emma’s hand on her elbow before she whispered, “Let’s go.” 

Still pretty dazed, she let Emma lead her outside and into the parking lot. They went around the corner and found shelter behind bushes and Alyssa started pulling the noodles off her body. At some point Emma grabbed a stack of napkins and now handed them to Alyssa. 

“You shouldn’t have done that Alyssa. He wasn’t aiming for you.” Emma’s voice was small and Alyssa felt it chip away at her heart.

“No, GREG shouldn’t have done that. And you shouldn’t have to still be dealing with this shit.” 

“Greg’s always been fairly nice to me. Well, maybe not nice but he never gave into it like the other kids did. I’m pretty shocked it was him.”

“I thought it was odd too.” Alyssa added thoughtfully. “I guess you don’t always know people.” 

“Yeah…” Emma continued. “But really, if you keep doing things like that people may start targeting you too.”

“Then let them. It’s bad enough I let you go through this alone in high school…” Alyssa voice trailed off and tears began to swarm her eyes. 

Emma placed a hand on her friends arm. “Alyssa, what happened in high school wasn’t your fault. We weren’t even friends yet.”

“I know but it doesn’t mean I didn’t know who you were or what you were going through. I could have done more. I should have done more.” The tears Alyssa had been trying to hold back now began to steadily run down her face.

“Shhh, hey. That’s all in the past so there is no use dwelling on it now. Besides, after that heroic sacrifice you made back there, you’ve more than proved yourself. Thank you, by the way. Although I still think it was really dumb, it was really nice to have someone on my side for once.” Emma smiled shyly, pulling a rogue noodle out of Alyssa’s hair.

Alyssa prayed the tears were enough to hide the blush creeping up at the feeling of Emma’s fingers in her hair. “Well get used to it, cause you’re stuck with me now.”

//

Alyssa took a long hot shower to clean up the mess that was not only spaghetti but pretty much the rest of the day. As the warm water ran over her, she felt herself calming down from todays events, which was fortunate because even once they got back to the room she still had half a mind to go bust Greg’s door down and finish her lecture. Instead, she now focused on Emma and the fact that she was safe and happy and not alone. That was all Alyssa cared about at the end of the day. 

Alyssa’s heart still hurt thinking back to their conversation. How many times had something like that happened to Emma in high school? Sure Alyssa had witnessed quite a few of the instances, but surely there had to have been some, if not many, that she missed. How many times did Emma have to run off by herself? Clean up by herself? Cry by herself? 

Her tears came back with a vengeance and she let the shower wash them away. Alyssa didn’t know how Emma was so brave. Here Alyssa was crying just at the thought of it and Emma never once shed a tear in front of the jerks at their school. She was so strong and it was just another thing for Alyssa to admire about her. Emma had been right. That was the past and while she definitely couldn’t forget it, she had to move forward and make sure Emma was never without a friend again.

After her therapeutic shower, Alyssa dried off and changed into a tank top and boxer shorts that sat low on her hips before walking back into the room. Emma was standing in between the cot (where Alyssa’s suitcase still sat) and the bed looking thoroughly confused, wearing flannel pajama’s with sloths all over them. Alyssa couldn’t help but smile at how adorable and snuggly she looked.

When Emma finally noticed Alyssa had reentered the room, her eyes grew ever so slightly and it almost seemed like she was straining to keep them at eye level. “I, uh, didn’t want to move your suitcase without asking first.”

“Good. Don’t.” was all Alyssa said before plopping down on the mattress, ankles crossed and arms behind her head. 

“Alyssa, I don’t mind sleeping on the cot…”

“Well, I do mind. I didn’t come on this trip to kick you out of this perfectly sized bed. Now come lay down before I have to make you.” Alyssa shot her a sideways smirk. 

Emma was about to object but really didn’t want to challenge the brunette for a third time that day. Instead, she laid down on the other half of the bed, hands folded over her belly. Alyssa rolled onto her side and propped her head up with one arm and studied the blonde. She had her eyes closed, but still looked tense. “I don’t bite.” Alyssa mused. “Unless provoked.”

Emma opened one eye to look at Alyssa before closing it again. “And what exactly would it take to provoke Alyssa Greene?”

Alyssa’s eyes grew wide with excitement. “Why? Are you gonna take notes?”

“Yes. I’m adding them to my ‘What Not To Do’ list.”

Alyssa suppressed her slight disappointment. “Well, sleeping in a cot would be up there…”

They bantered back and forth naming different concepts that might see her off. It started out somewhat reasonable but gradually got sillier as they went on. Alyssa wasn’t satisfied though until Emma began to relax. She watched in bliss as her friend got more animated and giggly as their dumb bit went on. 

Despite the fun they were having, they couldn’t ignore the exhaustion from todays event weighing them down. Alyssa gave Emma’s arm a squeeze before whispering “Sweet dreams, Emma Nolan.”


	5. Chapter 5

As the sun started to stream through the window, Alyssa began to come to. She was almost startled by how deeply she had been sleeping. She couldn’t recall the last time she slept so well through the night. Blinking her eyes open, she was greeted by a still restful Emma. She was facing the other girl and her hand was still settled where she had squeezed Emma’s arm goodnight and Emma’s other hand had crossed her body to rest on top of her own. Alyssa couldn’t help but smile at the tranquil sight before her. She thought this had to be the best way to wake up, filled with content and next to her best friend. 

Best friend. It was the first time she had referred to the other girl that way, but she had no doubt it was true. If she was being honest with herself, Emma had been her best friend for a while now. She had been able to be more open and honest with her in their first few weeks as friends than she had in her years of knowing Kaylee and Shelby. And for whatever it as worth, she undoubtably laughed more with her as well. There was simply no question about it. Emma Nolan was absolutely, unequivocally her best friend. 

She only hoped Emma felt the same way.

Alyssa was starting to think Emma had a sixth sense that went off anytime she became the focal point of Alyssa’s thoughts, because the sleeping girl suddenly started stirring. Alyssa rubbed tender circles on Emma’s arm with her thumb which rewarded her a lazy Emma smile. The flannel was soft beneath her hand and she had to hold herself back from feeling up and down her friends arm. 

As Emma started to stretch and roll towards Alyssa, she quickly pulled her arm away before it got trapped underneath her body. Alyssa stared on, completely enchanted by her sleepy friend. She had never seen Emma without her glasses before. She still adored and preferred her with them, but she was appreciative for a moment to examine her face without the obstacle. 

It was no question that Emma had the prettiest eyes in the world. Honestly, Alyssa pitied anyone who thought they could even compete. The brown and green swirled to make absolute perfection. With the glasses out of the way, Alyssa was able to spot the few barely visible freckles on the bridge of her nose. And for someone who slept so still, Emma somehow managed to have pretty impressive bed head, eyebrows included. Alyssa’s eyes traveled down to the girls lips, perfectly shaped and if Alyssa had to bet, perfectly soft as well. Her thumb tingled as she considered reaching out to prove herself right.

But then Emma started rubbing her eyes open and Alyssa was brought back to the reality of the situation. “Good morning, sunshine” she whispered, voice hoarse from her night of rest.

Emma groaned and covered her face with her hands. “No.”

Alyssa laughed. “You can’t say no to the morning, Emma. You’ll hurt its feelings.”

“Well it hurt mine first.” 

“Come on, aren’t you excited for our first day of adventures? The California Academy of Sciences is supposed to be incredible!” Alyssa tried to evoke some excitement in her friend.

“I’m sure it’s still incredible in the afternoon too.” Emma countered, her face burrowing into her pillow.

Alyssa let out a defeated sigh before she heard a knock at the door. One of her teachers had stopped by to inform her of a schedule change. She zoned out a bit and was brought back with a large yawn. She hoped her teacher pardoned her but in her defense it was still so early. Thanking her for the update, she headed back into the room.

At some point in the two minutes Alyssa had walked away, Emma had fallen back asleep. As she quickly learned earlier how much Emma wasn’t a morning person, she wasn’t surprised in the slightest by her snoozing discovery. Hoping she didn’t need too much time to get ready, Alyssa decided to let her friend sleep in a bit longer while she went down to the kitchen to grab them both coffee. When she returned to the room, Emma was right where she had left her. Kneeling near the bed, she gently ran her fingers through Emma’s messy blonde hair. “Hey sleepyhead, you gotta get up.”

Another groan.

“I got you coffee.” Alyssa hummed.

That was enough to get Emma to lift her head. Once she confirmed that there was indeed coffee, she looked at Alyssa with such affection. “I think I love you.”

Laughing nervously, Alyssa set the other girls coffee on the night stand and went back to getting ready for the day. Alyssa knew she meant it platonically. Friends said “I love you” all the time and this was no different. So why did her stomach start doing flips and turns like it was competing for an Olympic Gold Medal? _You have to stop overthinking_ , she reminded herself. “So, there’s a change of plans today. Apparently Karl is taking the day off and the temperatures are supposed to get to the mid 80’s. The weatherman says it’s basically an anomaly that only happens every few years. Anyways, we’re postponing the CalAcademy visit so we can take advantage and move up our day at Baker Beach.” She thought for a moment. “Crap. There was something else they said but I can’t remember now.”

Emma had finally sat up and sipped her coffee, which resulted in a deep moan. “So good.”

The noise brought on a warm feeling low in Alyssa’s stomach and she tried to keep her focus on her makeup. 

“Wait, who’s Karl?” Emma questioned, the coffee just now apparently kicking in and catching her up to everything Alyssa had said. 

“The fog, apparently a _he_ , named Karl.” Alyssa answered.

“San Francisco is weird.”

“Then you ought to fit right in.” Alyssa teased. 

“You’re one to talk, Lucky Buns.” Emma shot back.

“Ugh, please don’t let that be a thing.”

“You brought this upon yourself.”

“Call me that one more time and I’ll bring _this_ upon yourself.” She retorted, looking at Emma over her shoulder and slapping her butt. After a pause, she added, “Again.”

That was enough to force Emma to surrender (for now, at least) and she retreated to the restroom to change.

Alyssa pulled out a two piece swim suit and a white sun dress patterned with flowers. Since Emma was changing in the bathroom, she took the opportunity to slip on her bikini rather than wait for a turn. “Emma, you brought the sunscreen right?” She called through the door.

“It’s San Francisco. We don’t need sunscreen; we need jackets.” Emma answered back. 

“I told you: no Karl today. It’s going to be sunny and warm.” 

Emma emerged from the bathroom and halted the second she saw Alyssa. Her jaw dropped slightly and her cheeks turned pink. Unlike last night, Emma couldn’t stop her eyes from taking in Alyssa’s body. 

Alyssa felt an excitement in her stomach that was becoming all too regular these days. Emma herself was wearing shorts and black tank top. This was the first time she’d ever seen Emma wear shorts and she couldn’t imagine why she didn’t wear them more often. She had great legs. 

After she hastily recovered herself, Emma continued “And I’m telling you, everything I read about San Francisco weather says even their warm days are cold.” 

“Fine. What if we compromise? We both wear sunscreen AND jackets.” 

Emma thought for a moment. “Deal.” 

“But to keep things interesting, how about we turn this into a bet?”

“Go on.”

“Loser buys the other ice cream?” 

“Double deal.”

Alyssa put on her best game face and extended her hand to Emma. Emma eyed it for a moment before shaking it. Alyssa anticipated the contact but was still surprised by the softness of Emma’s hands and the tingles it sent up her arm. Besides the occasional high fives, this was the first time she’d been able to feel the other girls hands. She wondered about them occasionally, especially when she watched Emma play her guitar.

“Perfect. Now, can you please get the sunscreen out? We’re gonna need it later when I’m right.”

Not wanting to give her the satisfaction of acknowledgement of her last comment, Emma just shrugged, retrieved the item, and started to apply the lotion to her face and arms. Alyssa watched as Emma tried and failed to cover her back. She debated letting it go on longer because it was adorable but ultimately decided not to torture her. “Let me help, Emma.”

Emma looked as if she was going to object for a moment but instead handed the sunscreen to her friend.

Alyssa giggled when she read the bottle. _100 SPF. When you’re basically a ghost, it’s probably better to be safe than sorry_ , she thought to herself. Emma turned around as Alyssa put a dollop of the cream in her hand and quickly discovered Emma’s skin was just as smooth as she imagined. 

As she rubbed slow, steady circles over her friends shoulders, Alyssa tried to keep her breath even, but Emma’s skin was soft and silky and it felt like an impossible task. Trying to stay in control, she focused on her hands and their movement. She started low and worked up, making sure not to miss any spots. When she reached the girls neck, she finished with her thumbs, kneading in the lotion just under her hairline, the blonde tips tickling her hand. Grabbing the bottle to get more sun screen, Alyssa dropped down and started the same motion with her hands on the back of Emma’s thighs, starting at the top this time, right under her…

“Alyssa?”

“Hmm?”

“I can reach the back of my legs.”

Alyssa’s hands left the girls skin as if they’d been shocked. “Right,” she managed, coming out of the trance she seemed to have fallen under. She stood up and looked at all the lotion still on her hands before she started applying it to her own skin. She did the best she could before sheepishly asking the blonde to return the favor. 

Alyssa held back a gasp as the lotion hit her shoulders. It felt so cold in contrast to how hot she was beginning to feel. Emma’s hands were warm on her skin though and she prayed the girl couldn’t feel how fast her heart was racing. She honestly wasn’t sure if this was better or worse than when the roles were reverse, but either way she hoped it was over soon for the sake of her mind. Every now and again, the calluses on Emma’s left hand fingers would scrape Alyssa, causing her skin to dance.

When Emma’s hands finally left her shoulders, she felt a short burst of relief that was swiftly replaced again with panic as they returned to her body, this time lower. Why couldn’t Alyssa have just brought a one piece on this trip? Or perhaps she should have just taken her chances with the sun. Maybe her melanin would have protected her. Even if it didn’t, she would have stood a much better chance against the heat of the sun than the heat of this moment. 

After she was finished with stretch of skin between Alyssa’s bikini top and bottom, Emma dragged her hands down Alyssa’s arms. “You have goosebumps.” Emma whispered, her breath hot on Alyssa’s ear. “You know what might help with that?”

Alyssa swallowed with anticipation and, not trusting her voice, shook her head.

“A jacket.” Emma answered and Alyssa used the last of her strength to playfully elbow her.

Emma chuckled and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, giving Alyssa time to try and recover, hoping Emma wouldn’t notice a change in her. As she slipped her sundress on, Alyssa replayed the past five minutes (Or was it two hours? Alyssa had no way to be sure.) over and over in her head trying to make sense of what happened. Or rather, how what happened made her feel. She was grateful they would soon be in the sun and breathing fresh air. Certainly that would help clear her head.

Alyssa was slipping her shoes on when Emma came out to remind her, “Don’t forget a jacket. I held up my end of the bargain.” 

_And then some,_ Alyssa recalled in her head. She turned around to look at her jacket hanging up in all it’s tomato-sauce-stained-glory. She let out deep sigh. In all the… excitement of this mornings events she had almost forgotten about last nights. She had packed quite a few sweaters, but that had been her only jacket. 

As if Emma was reading her mind, she offered “You can borrow one of mine today and we can see about getting that dry cleaned?”

“That would be very sweet and very appreciated. Thank you, Emma.”

Alyssa tried on a few before settling with Emma’s jean jacket. “How does it look?”

“It looks - wow - really great.” Emma stumbled through, that cute shade of pink returning to her cheeks.

Alyssa turned side to side in the mirror, checking herself out. Not only did it look great with her dress, it felt amazing. The sleeves went past her hands and it fit her bigger than any jackets she had ever owned, but she didn’t mind. It was warm and it was safe and it was Emma’s. 

If anyone noticed that Alyssa had been walking a little taller that day, she could neither confirm nor deny that it had everything to do with wearing Emma’s jacket. 

// 

“You don’t have to buy me ice cream today. We’re going to the pier tomorrow and we’ll probably have more options there anyways.” Alyssa beamed at Emma as they stood on a very warm and very sunny beach. 

“The day has only just begun, Greene. Anything could change at any moment.”

Like a hammer to a bell, that last phrase resonated through Alyssa. _Anything could change at any moment._ Her mind ricocheted back to earlier that day. Something had definitely changed. She still didn’t know what but she did know that it wasn’t necessarily just the incident from that morning. It was a culmination of things that seemed to just keep building up and Alyssa was afraid if she couldn’t figure it out soon that something - or herself - was going to implode. 

The worst part was that the only person she wanted to talk to about this was Emma. But how would she even begin to bring it up? _Hi, Emma. It’s me, your one friend and person you trusted into your space. Remember that one thing you were worried might happen? Well I feel really strange and don’t know what to do about it. Please help. Many thanks, Alyssa._

There were a few ways that could go.

One scenario being that she’s also noticed a change. Maybe she feels the same way and it would just be another thing they could understand about each other. They could talk about it and work through it and be better friends than before. 

Or she could feel betrayed and uncomfortable and Alyssa would be left without the most important person in her life.

“Hey Alyssa, where’d you go?” Emma said gently, pulling her friends mind back to the beach.

“Oh, nowhere. Just deciding how many toppings I’m going to get tomorrow.” Alyssa tried.

Emma knew that wasn’t true but didn’t press her more on it. Instead she offered, “I’m here when you need me.”

It was soft and sweet and only made Alyssa’s heart ache more. “Do you wanna go for a walk?”

Emma nodded and the two started their way up the beach. They walked with leisure, giving backstory to footprints they passed or grabbing lost trash to throw away or just soaking in the beautiful view of the ocean, the city, the bridge. When Emma started collecting seashells, Alyssa made her promise to return them to the ocean before they left. “There could be a creature that wants to use it for a home!”

“So we’re just supposed to start giving out free homes to sea creatures? And what if they can’t afford to keep up with their new cost of living? Their shells will be repossessed by some greedy little kid and they’ll end up out on the reefs, worse than when we found them.” 

“Oh stop it.” Alyssa said playfully.

As they walked on, she couldn’t help but feel like there was something she was forgetting. She brushed it off, reasoning that if it was important, it would come back to her. 

“Alyssa? Could we stop for a moment?” 

“Of course,” she replied, as they walked away from the tide and settled onto the sand. Alyssa leaned back on her hands while Emma sat with her arms resting around her knees. Alyssa could tell she was deep in thought. She had the same look in her eyes and she was chewing on her lip in the same manner as she did when she would focus on something for school. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about the past few months and this trip and last night…” she started thoughtfully. “And I just need you to know how important your friendship is to me. I have never been so happy or felt so _normal_ than I do now. I was honestly starting to believe I would never have a friend again and then you came along and suddenly I have a best friend.”

“You’re my best friend, too” was all Alyssa said, scooting closer to Emma and draping an arm around her shoulder. Alyssa was Emma’s best friend and Emma was Alyssa’s best friend and for a moment everything felt right and easy. Sure, Alyssa still had some things to work through, but she didn’t want those thoughts to ruin this moment. Right now, she was on the beach with her best friend and that was all that matter. Alyssa leaned her head against Emma’s shoulder and was happy when she felt Emma reciprocate the gesture. 

They stayed this way for a while in silence, just enjoying each others company and the peace that the beach brought them. It reminded Alyssa a lot of their day together in the meadow. 

Except unlike the meadow, the beach was crawling with people of all different types. Glancing south, where they had walked up from, Alyssa could see Kaylee and Shelby. They were wearing bright pink and yellow swimsuits, which made finding them super easy. Kaylee was laughing and leaning into a boy Alyssa had never seen before and could only assume was a new target for the girls affection. She also spotted Greg, who surprisingly was not with the girl from the plane, but by himself looking exhausted. _Good, I hope he slept horribly last night,_ Alyssa cursed to herself.

Not wanting to let her anger from last nights event resurface, she turned her attention back up toward the section they had yet to explore. She noticed there wasn’t really anybody between the two ends of the beach. As grateful as she was that her and Emma could have this space to themselves, she couldn’t help but note how odd it was. 

She watched couples appear and disappear around the curve of the beach, most carrying towels and coolers, no doubt going to have a good time. One couple in particular caught Alyssa’s eye though. It was a man and woman who were very far away but seemed to be wearing very peculiar… outfits? Alyssa could hardly make it out and squinted trying to get a better look. As they came closer into view, Alyssa immediately remembered what she had been forgetting all day. “Oh wow…”

Sensing something was up with Alyssa, Emma lifted her head up to see what was going on. She tried her best to figure out what had captured her friends attention, but couldn’t tell what was so special about the couple. She wiped her glasses with her shirt, determined to see what Alyssa was so amused about. After replacing them back on her face, she instantly regretted it. “Oh my god, Alyssa, are those people naked?” She just about hit herself in the face trying to cover her eyes fast enough.

“Yeah they are.” Alyssa giggled, unable to tear her eyes away.

“Alyssa!” Emma threw a hand around the brunette’s eyes too, who was still giggling and trying to see sneak another peak around her hand.

//

After Alyssa finally convinced Emma the coast was clear, they got up from their spot and made their way back to the South end of the beach. 

“I still don’t understand how you _forget_ that half of the beach is ‘clothing optional’,” Emma huffed, still beet red from seeing the nude couple.

“Maybe I couldn’t hear that bit over my snoring roommate.” Alyssa shot back.

“I do not snore.”

“No, you don’t. But if you had woken up the first time, you would’ve heard for yourself to not go to the North end.”

Before Emma could respond, Alyssa noticed a flash of neon out of the corner of her eye. She quickly whispered “incoming” to Emma.

At first she was confused, but when Emma turned around to see Kaylee and Shelby jogging towards them, she let out a chuckle at Alyssa’s warning.

“Alyssa! Oh em gee, you’re missing everything!” Kaylee started, slightly out of breath. 

“Hey Alyssa.” Shelby greeted when she caught up before adding “Hi Emma.”

Emma first glanced cautiously at Alyssa, who simply shrugged, before giving Shelby one of her awkward half wave, half salutes.

“Formalities are not important when your life is in the process of changing, ladies.” Kaylee continued, grabbing Alyssa’s arms and bringing their faces close. “Alyssa, you know when you meet a person and just _know_ you’re meant to be together forever?” 

“Uh…” Alyssa’s eye’s flickered to Emma for the briefest moment. Just like that, she felt everything she had been trying to suppress all afternoon come creeping up inside her. 

“You look them in the eyes and suddenly all the songs make sense. Nothing else matters but the two of you and the way you feel around them. Every moment, every choice in your life was to get you to that point when the two of you could finally be together. You know?”

_Crap._


	6. Chapter 6

Of course, it wasn’t _exactly_ like Kaylee had described. Alyssa still thought most love songs were stupid and she refused to believe that her standing by all those years while Emma was the school outcast was their “destiny” or whatever. It was more so that listening to her friends describe the way boys made them feel had started to make sense and truthfully she kind of felt bad for rolling her eyes at them all these years. Because she finally understood. Kaylee’s sappy and overdramatic rant had been the last clue Alyssa needed to deciphering what she was feeling.

Which turned out to _be_ feelings. A lot of them and all for Emma Nolan. 

Honestly, she felt a little silly when she finally put it all together. How could she think it was normal for friends to cause all those exciting sensations that happened to her body whenever Emma was near? Every shiver, every butterfly, every involuntary gasp, every rush of warmth low in her stomach. She didn’t feel those things with Kaylee and Shelby because she wasn’t into to them. And she definitely didn’t feel those things with Greg or any other guy at her school because she wasn’t into them boys either. Alyssa was into girls, or rather one girl: Emma. 

And wow did that feel good to think. She bet it would feel good to say out loud too, but one thing at a time. 

Of course the negatives thoughts were there, swarming in the back of her head, barely a whisper. They could wait though. Right now Alyssa felt like she climbed out of a bunker she’d been trapped in for 18 years and was just feeling the sun on her skin for the first time and she wanted to bask in that feeling before she found out what year it was and who was president and started thinking it might be better back in the ground. 

Although she still had a lot more realizations to deal with, Alyssa could feel an odd weight on her that snapped her out of her thoughts. Shelby had been staring intensely at her with a look Alyssa couldn’t quite describe. It seemed concerned yet sympathetic and maybe a hint of amusement? Whatever it was, Alyssa was too tired from her own self-discovery to begin breaking down whatever Shelby was up to. 

The four of them had settled on the beach, chatting and laughing and Alyssa thought how nice it was to have her two longest friends and her new best friend getting along. Sure, Kaylee had barely addressed Emma but she also didn’t try and run her off either. Shelby was quieter than usual, but still engaged and made an effort to include Emma whenever she spoke. Emma herself seemed anxious and alert so Alyssa extended her pinky over an inch to where Emma’s own hand was resting on the sand as if to remind Emma that she was safe so long as Alyssa was around.

//

Alyssa spent the night tossing and turning as her mind fluctuated between elation and panic. On one hand, she was truly grateful to have pinpointed what had been happening inside her head. On the other, she’d been gay for one day and already fell into the stereotype of crushing on her best friend. Surely she could get cut some slack since said friend wasn’t straight, right? Alyssa groaned. 

And how was she supposed to tell Emma? She did have to tell Emma, right? It didn’t seem fair if she didn’t. Alyssa knew it would be the right thing to do, but she was worried about the worst case scenario.

What if Emma was disgusted by her crush? What if she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore or couldn’t even stand to look at her? What if she lost the most important thing that ever happened to her?

Knowing the game of 20 Questions she foolishly started was only flinging her deeper into the downward spiral, she pulled out her phone desperate for a distraction. She had left it at the hotel room for the day so she could enjoy it for what it was. That being said, she was still a teenager in the new millennium and she was happy to catch up on whatever she might have missed. 

The first thing she noticed was a missed text from Shelby. The time stamp synced up with when they were still at the beach together. _That’s odd._ Satisfying her curiosity, she opened the message. 

There was no text, but a picture was loading. She had been expecting a silly meme or one of those cheesy “Just Girl Things” posts, but her breath caught as the photo came in. In the picture was her and Emma from earlier that day. Alyssa’s head was thrown back, clearly booming with laughter, and Emma was watching her, a huge grin on her face and a certain fondness in her eyes. Alyssa’s hand had a tight grip on Emma’s arm and Emma’s rested tenderly on Alyssa’s thigh. The wind was blowing their hair behind them, making Alyssa’s impossibly wilder than normal. They were absolutely glowing. The ocean and Golden Gate Bridge were both visible in the background while (fortunately) no nudists were. 

Alyssa felt a warmth puddle in her eyes. They both looked so unconditionally content. If anyone had stumbled across this photo without knowing them, they would think the two girls had only ever known happiness and joy. Which would be partially true because Alyssa had felt that way ever since she met Emma. She stared at the photo a while longer, memorizing every inch of it as if it might disappear any moment. 

She put her phone away and promised herself she wouldn’t read into the way Emma was looking at her. Instead, she tried to recall when Shelby even took that photo. Or better yet, _why_ Shelby had taken the photo. And then to send it with no mention and no message, like a spy dropping off a secure item to another. She considered sending a “thank you” text, but thought it might be better to subtly share her appreciation tomorrow.

It wasn’t long before she was back where she started, flipping and flopping frustratingly as she failed to fall asleep. It was getting way too late and she needed to shut off her brain. Tomorrow they were going to spend the day at the pier and head to Alcatraz in the evening for a night tour of the infamous prison and Alyssa didn’t want to waste the day being too tired to function. She let out an annoyed and defeated sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a groan. 

“Alyssa, what’s wrong?” Between all the wriggling and the noise, it must’ve woken Emma up. Her voice was groggy but the concern was clear.

“It’s nothing. I’m just anxious and can’t sleep. I’m sorry, Emma, I can move to the cot. Go back to sleep,” Alyssa replied, hushed and hurried.

Emma rolled to face her and lifted the covers. “Come here.”

“Wh-what?” Alyssa stuttered.

“Come here,” Emma insisted, still sleepy but her regard apparent.

Alyssa gave in against better judgement and scooted back into Emma. Emma’s arm slipped around her waist and pulled her back even closer. Their legs curled up, fitting perfectly together. Emma adjusted the curly, brunette tresses so her face was resting behind Alyssa’s neck, breath warm against her skin. Alyssa melted under the feeling of how close they were. Emma’s body was pressed fully against her’s and she honestly wasn’t sure how this was going to help her. Her hopeless heart rate continued to rise and just when she thought for sure it was going to explode, she felt Emma whisper into her, “Follow my breathing.”

In through the nose. Out through the mouth. 

It took some time to steady her breath, but eventually they synced up, chests rising and falling together. Alyssa could hardly believe it. She had spent hours trying everything to fall asleep. Hundreds of sheep accounted for for nothing. Yet, five minutes in Emma’s arms and she felt more relaxed than she’d been in her life. 

“Is that better?”

Alyssa knew not to trust herself with using words right now so instead she nodded, knowing Emma would feel it where her head laid. In response, Emma started to pull her arm back before Alyssa briskly held on. “If it’s okay with you, can we stay like this a little longer?”

“Of course.” Emma said with such understanding as she readjusted and nuzzled just a bit closer. 

As Alyssa drifted off to sleep, she held on to the overwhelming feeling of security that flowed through her body so long as she was in Emma’s arms.

//

“Alyssa! Alyssa, wake up! It’s Alcatraz day!”

In a stark disparity from yesterday morning, Emma was nearly, if not completely, ready for the day while Alyssa was protesting consciousness. 

“How?” was all Alyssa could manage. 

“Today’s the day! We are going to be walking the same path that some of the most famous and dangerous criminals in America traveled!”

Alyssa wanted to comment on how that may not be the best way to word it or give her the same snark she was greeted with yesterday morning, but she couldn’t do anything but soak in how precious Emma looked rambling on with such zest. It made all the sense in the world for this to be the most anticipated thing for the blonde. If Alyssa had to guess, she’d say it was probably Emma’s whole basis for attending the trip anyways. 

They weren’t to leave for another fifteen minutes, but Emma was so giddy about the day’s activity that she raced downstairs to “hold their spot”. Again Alyssa held back a comment on how they were to spend the first half of the day at the pier and getting a good seat on the bus wouldn’t affect where they stood for the tour later that day, but instead she gave a supportive nod and promised to be down soon.

Alyssa wasn’t much for make up and her hair usually did a thing of its own, so she really didn’t need much time to get rolling. After brushing her teeth and fixing her hair, she threw on boyfriend jeans and a white t-shirt with a band Emma had introduced to her on it. With a moments hesitation, she grabbed Emma’s jean jacket to wear again that day. Between the pier and the ferry ride, she knew she wouldn’t stand a chance against the ocean breeze without it. 

As Alyssa entered the lobby, she quickly found Emma but the usual delight Alyssa felt when seeing Emma was nowhere to be found. Instead, she watched with trepidation as Emma stood with Greg. Rolling up the sleeves of the jean jacket and giving herself a quick pep talk, she marched up to spaghetti slinging jerk. 

The two noticed her at the same time with a similar look of terror, and Greg instinctively stepped behind Emma. Or did Emma step in front of Greg?

“Alyssa, you don’t have to-“ Emma tried to intercept.

“Oy, back off!” _Oy?_ “You step away from Emma now or I’ll, uh, I’ll do something!” _’Something’. Good one. Real intimidating, ‘Lys._ “I swear, blondie, if you hurt one heart string on my friend, I’ll make you regret it!” _Okay, this is getting better. Now finish him._ “You meanie!” 

Alyssa mentally kicked herself for last phrase she just _had_ to add. She really should’ve have quit while she was ahead, but she figured what her words lacked, her tone made up for.

“Really, Alyssa, it’s not what you-“ Emma tried again.

“Emma, please, don’t make excuses for him just because you are way too good for us all.” Alyssa started up again, now turning to Greg. “The saddest part is you are too busy playing second string bully to realize what an amazing person you are missing out on. You would be so lucky to get to know Emma and call her a friend!”

“Alyssa, please.”

The brunette snapped out of her trance and gave a slightly flushed Emma her full attention.

“He just wanted to talk.” Emma explained before glancing at Greg. “And it was a good talk. Thank you, Greg. Really.”

Greg said a quick goodbye before bolting away. 

“Goodness, Alyssa, remind me to never mess with you.” Emma gave a chuckle coated in nerves.

“I can’t believe the audacity! If he messes with you one more time, I swear I’ll - I’ll…” Her voice trailed off and they both knew it was never really going anywhere besides empty threats.

“While I appreciate the Emma Nolan first responder role you’ve taken up, Greg was apologizing. It’s actually kind of… When he threw the noodles at me it wasn’t for the same reason anyone else might’ve used. Which, when you are hated by everyone for being different, it’s just… it’s kind of nice to be picked on for a normal reason.” Emma continued.

“Oh. Well… Good, I’m glad he apologized.” Alyssa processed the update. “So why did he do it then?”

Emma suddenly flushed again. “Oh he just thought that you… It was just a misunderstanding. He was wrong and mistakenly took it out on me.”

Alyssa really wanted to know exactly what he had said, but didn’t want to push when Emma clearly didn’t want to say. Instead she just hummed thoughtfully in response.

“We gotta work on your tough guy act though. I don’t think being that cute while trying to be feisty is gonna intimidate people.” Emma teased.

And with that, the lingering silence between them soon dissipated and their normal banter picked up on their way to the pier. 

//

Although almost 24 hours had passed, Alyssa still hadn’t forgotten about yesterday’s bet. Emma only let out one groan the entire time Alyssa had been deciding which ice cream joint to go to.

Alyssa piled toppings upon toppings while Emma opted for the more classic vanilla with chocolate chips. They sat side by side on a small bench, neither shy of proximity after last night.

“Look, all I’m saying is that by having 10 different toppings all piled up on top of not one, not two, but _three_ different ice cream flavors you can’t possibly enjoy each taste for it’s full potential. That’s why you gotta go simple.”

“No way. What’s better than one yummy thing? Thirteen yummy things. I think you ‘gotta go’ back to your lane, Em.”

“It’s a one way road. Your lane is my lane, ‘Lys.”

Alyssa knew it was a cheesy line but there was just something so adorable about Emma’s inflection with her last statement. Instead of getting into one of their usual playful debates, Alyssa scooped a dollop of her ice cream onto her spoon before plopping it against Emma’s nose. 

Emma gave a disapproving look with just a hint of amusement before she wiped the ice cream off her own nose and onto her finger. She was now searching for a napkin to wipe it off.

“Hey, that’s still mine!” Without thinking, Alyssa grabbed Emma’s wrist, pulling her friends finger into her mouth. Her grin disappeared as her lips formed around the digit. Alyssa watched as the other girls eyes grew wide and dark, following the motion with bewilderment. Emma felt warm in her mouth compared to the ice cream and she couldn’t ignore how simple vanilla ice cream tasted so good on Emma. Alyssa focused her own eyes onto Emma’s as her tongue swirled around the index, slow and lingering, before it dragged along and the finger left her mouth with the smallest _pop_

Alyssa’s head felt light. All she wanted to do was bring Emma in for a another taste. If her calloused skin was so delicious, she wondered how her lips might compare. Her eyes dropped down to the new occupier of her thoughts. She watched as Emma’s tongue snuck out to swipe across her lips. The air was electric and Alyssa felt herself drifting forward, minuscule motions at a time. She directed Emma’s hand that still lied in her control towards the back of her neck. 

_Is this really happening?_ Alyssa could hardly believe it. If she woke up in two seconds, she wouldn't be surprised but whether it was a dream or reality, she didn't care. 

They were only two or three inches from closing the distance when Alyssa’s phone rang. The alarming sound caused both girls to jump back. Alyssa flubbed with her phone while Emma suddenly became very interested in her dessert.

Alyssa’s voice was breathy as she answered her cell. “Hello? Yes, mom, I’m sorry I forgot to call you last night it’s just… Uh no I haven't been running I...” As she apologized to her mother on the phone, she tried to keep her eyes anywhere besides Emma but couldn’t help when her gaze slipped every now and again. She thought she might never let a day go by where she doesn’t wonder what might have happened if her phone hadn’t interrupted the moment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who has been following this and leaving comments! I want to give you all little kisses, but instead will just offer my eternal gratitude. xoxo

When Emma realized the call was going to be a long one, she told Alyssa she was going to check out one of the shops near them and Alyssa mouthed “okay, I’ll meet up”. Emma remained for a beat, neither of them breaking eye contact and both wanting to say more, before she took off. Alyssa watched her walk into a nearby store that appeared to be selling knick knacks and souvenirs.

The call went on for twenty minutes and her mother asked hundreds of questions about what they’ve done so far and what they were doing for the rest of the day. She did her best to stay engaged but was distracted to say the least. If she had only remembered to call her mom last night, there wouldn’t have been any interruptions earlier. And then what would have happened? Alyssa’s forehead thudded against her free hand as she left out a frustrated breath. 

Thinking back, she couldn’t be sure if Emma really was leaning in too or if she had just been imagining it. She definitely didn’t pull away though, but that could’ve just been a result of paralysis brought on by her friend trying to kiss her. Her current state was torn between wanting to talk to Emma about everything and wanting to jump in the ocean and be swallowed by a whale. Not knowing if whales came close enough to the land for that plan to work, she decided to try out the first one. “Sorry, mom, the teacher needs to talk to us so I have to hang up now. Love you!” 

_”Wait Alyssa keep me on. What if what he says is important and I-“_ Alyssa hung up and made her way to the shop Emma had entered. As she reach for the handle the door opened and she stumbled forward. She was caught by sturdy, familiar arms.

“Sorry!” Alyssa told Emma, as she collected herself and took a few steps backwards so they were both outside and away from the entryway. “Hey.”

“Hi. Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Alyssa’s voice was off and and she was trying too hard to seem calm. “How was the shop?”

“Good. I found a souvenir for my grandma. How’s your mom?”

“She's cool cool cool,” she topped it off with finger guns. Alyssa groaned at her inability to function properly and Emma let out an awkward chuckle. 

“So that back there was, uh- _wow_ …” 

Alyssa’s heart beat faster. What did that mean? She searched Emma for any indication. It could’ve been good, bad, or indifferent and she may die if she doesn’t know which. As Alyssa looked into Emma’s growing eyes, she realized her friend was no longer looking at her, but rather past her. Alyssa turned around to see what caught her attention. “Oh.” Her voice was so soft she barely heard herself.

Walking towards them were a brunette and a blonde woman holding hands. They looked average in height, but the blonde was just a little taller. If Alyssa had to guess, she would say they were in their early 30’s. The shorter of the two was wearing a tropically floral dress while the other was wearing jeans and a flannel. The taller of the two had a smirk on her face and must’ve said something funny because the other girl couldn’t stop giggling. Alyssa had the weirdest feeling that she knew them somewhere. 

Alyssa repositioned herself so her and Emma’s sides were touching while they watched the couple walk by. Emma’s eyes were glued on them and if the ladies noticed, Alyssa had a feeling they would know it wasn’t from a place of disapproval. Alyssa felt Emma’s fingers brush against hers and Alyssa faltered away, not having confidence in herself to survive another run in with Emma’s fingers today.

Alyssa fiddled with her watch before realizing the time. As much as she wanted to talk to Emma, they really needed to start heading to the ferry. It was probably for the best. They’d have all the time back at the hotel to talk about it more in private.

So all Alyssa had to do was make it till nighttime without jumping Emma Nolan where she stood. Easy enough.

//

Never had Alyssa been more grateful for Emma than now, on the ferry and snuggled warm in the girls jean jacket. Without it, Alyssa would have be miserably cold. Emma herself had been leaning over the railing, watching the island as the ferry brought them closer and closer. Even through the layers of excitement, Alyssa could still see the signs that Emma was cold too, her own jacket and all. Alyssa did what any good best friend might and snuggled into her and sharing body heat. 

The sun was setting, triggering a gentle glow to erupt all over. Alyssa snuck a glance up at Emma and couldn’t get over how stunning she was. _How could anyone not fall for her?_ , Alyssa wondered to herself. _Maybe that’s why Greg was mean to her. Like a kid pulling a girls pig tails._ She couldn’t blame him if that were the case. 

Their moment alone didn’t last long before they were joined but her other two friends. Alyssa and Emma broke apart to let the girls join them. As short as the ferry ride was, Kaylee still found plenty enough time to be able to fill Alyssa and Emma in on her latest boy adventure. She listened the best she could learning that his name was Jake or Jack or something like that and he apparently made the world spin. “He’s soooo smart and passionate. He has all these opinions on real world issues but he can also be super fun and silly! And oh em gee his abs!” 

Alyssa heard her phone _ding_ and opened it to a message from Shelby. It was another picture. In it was Alyssa and Emma, there on the ferry. _Shelby must’ve taken this just before they walked up,_ Alyssa thought. It was a behind shot of the two, with the sunset at one end and Alcatraz Island at the other. They were in the center, Alyssa resting her head on Emma’s shoulder and Emma’s arm draped around Alyssa’s waist. 

Alyssa’s heart fluttered at how beautiful it was. She looked up to find Shelby giving her a knowing smile. Alyssa tilted her head to the side with a grin of her own and Shelby gave a small nod back. She still wasn’t entirely sure why Shelby was taking these pictures and sending them to her, but she was grateful. 

The ride was soon over and the class unloaded off the ferry and onto the island. As soon as Alyssa stepped onto the ground, she felt an eery feeling creep over her and if the shiver that overtook Emma was any indication, she did too. Alyssa didn’t necessarily believe in ghosts, but she still knew to be respectful of places like this. Just to be safe though she stayed close to Emma. 

They made the walk up to the prison and although Emma wasn’t one to get giddy, Alyssa could see the anticipation beaming in her eyes. Once they reached the entrance, an employee on the island handed everyone a headset to follow along with the audio tour. When she slipped the headphones over her curly hair, she caught Emma letting out a small giggle her way. Blushing, Alyssa asked “What?”

“Nothing. You just look so cute I could…”

Alyssa held her breath waiting for the end of the sentence to come.

But it never did. Instead, Emma just smiled, shook her head, and fixed a piece of Alyssa’s hair that got stuck in the headphones and was sticking out, before walking in for the tour.

Alyssa let out the air she had been holding and mumbled to nobody but herself, “I wish you would.”

//

Although Alyssa hadn’t been the most excited for this tour, she was pleasantly surprised by how fascinating it was. She didn’t expect to be so taken with the stories and the history. The two friends stuck together for most of the tour. Emma was slightly ahead in the audio but even then, Alyssa was never too far behind. 

The tour was finishing up and the sun had completely set at this point. Alyssa was in the middle of a recording of an inmate recalling what torture New Year’s Eve was. He described how they could hear the celebration in the city from their cells. If the wind was right, it would carry the laughter and music to them, a painful reminder of all that they were missing out on the rock. 

As she continued down a row of cells, she almost missed that Emma had entered one. Alyssa approached the blonde who was staring out a small window overlooking the city. The lights danced and although they were a ways away, the life and energy was radiating from the metropolis all the way to the island. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Emma agreed, her voice shaky. 

Alyssa hadn’t noticed Emma’s red eyes or the subsequent tears. “Emma, what’s wrong?”

Emma continued to look out and took a deep breath. “It’s gonna sound silly. I know it will. But listening to that prisoner talking about New Years and knowing they were so close to life and normalcy but still so far… It just… I get it, ya know? I spent most of high school listening behind the band closet door to everyone having typical teenage experiences. Being right there, you can hear it and see it, but you can’t touch. You can’t do anything but watch as everyone else lives their life, doing what you can only dream about while you’re stuck in a prison cell. It’s dumb, I know, relating to dangerous criminals but they were still people and I understand what they felt and it’s just plain awful.” 

“That’s not silly or dumb, Emma.” Staring at her for just a moment more, Alyssa returned her gaze out the window as well. She wanted to go on about how wonderful and compassionate she is and how her heart is too big for her own good and that she was sorry life was the way it was, but words didn’t seem right at the time. Instead, she slipped her hand into Emma’s, fingers interlocking, and gave a gentle squeeze. Emma held on tight as they let the moment wash over them. 

//

As they made their way back to the hotel, Alyssa felt a buzz starting up in her. The closer they got to the end of the day when everyone would go back to their respective rooms, the louder the buzzing grew. It started deep in her stomach and spread up her chest and down her arms and into her fingertips. She tried to ignore it but realized it was no use. Soon her and Emma were going to be truly alone in their room with nothing but each other, one bed, and a lot to be said. _And then hopefully a lot that didn’t need to be said,_ Alyssa mused as a blush reached her cheeks.

Perhaps Emma was thinking about the same thing, because they moved in a thick silence the whole trip back. It lingered while they got ready for sleep and stuck around as they crawled into bed. 

They laid on their backs, both pathetically studying the ceiling and prolonging the inevitable. 

It was too much for Alyssa. Her doubts had still survived through all the “maybe” moments the two had shared and she still worried that her confession could crush Emma and ruin their friendship, leaving Emma without a friend again. It felt selfish to risk Emma’s feeling of normalcy at finally having a companion just because Alyssa so overwhelmingly desired _more_. However the conversation was going to go, Alyssa couldn’t start it like this. She needed to release some of the tension in the air first. “Did I ever tell you I can read palms?”

“No, I don’t believe you did.” Emma said, her interest piqued.

Alyssa sat up facing Emma and crossed her legs. Emma mirrored her position and held her hands out for Alyssa. The brunette asked, “Do you want to know what will be or what could be?”

The question felt heavier than intended. “Could be.”

Alyssa nodded and grabbed Emma’s left hand, holding it palm up. Emma’s hand was cold and shaking. Alyssa brought it up to her chest and held it close in an attempt to warm it up for a moment before releasing it and returning to their first position. She used her index to trace the lines and felt Emma relax at the touch. 

“This one is your life line.”

“Should I be worried that it’s so short?” 

Alyssa chuckled. “No, it doesn’t determine how long you live, but how you live. Yours actually is long and deep, meaning you are strong and dependable.” Moving her finger to a different line. “This one makes sense. It’s your head line and the curve indicates your creativity.” Drifting once more to the next crease, she went on. “The heart line. Do you see how it’s clear and long without breaks? It suggests that you will love once and deeply.” Alyssa’s finger stopped their movement and the girls locked eyes. 

_So much for easing the tension_ , she mentally scolded herself. She’s not sure how, but she managed to pull her gaze back to Emma’s palm before touching one last small line. “Oh no…” Alyssa whispered.

“What’s wrong? What does that one mean?”

“It’s the dork line and it’s reading as positive.”

Alyssa had still been looking intensely at the groove when Emma hit her with a pillow. She fell back and the two erupted into laughter. 

As their giggles died down, Alyssa knew it was now or never. “Emma?”

“Yeah?” Emma said with an almost urgency.

As the question she wanted to ask sat on the tip of her tongue, every conceivable outcome raced through her mind. From tears to kisses and back to rejection, she saw it all and the anxiety she had been fighting all day came rushing back. The air suddenly became hard to breathe and her nerves got the better of her. “Do you remember that couple we saw today?”

Emma’s expression shifted to curiosity and she nodded.

“I’ve just been thinking about them a lot since we saw them. They looked so happy, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, they did.” Emma hummed. 

“And they were so beautiful. They looked familiar too. Like I know them, I’m just not sure from where.” 

“Yeah, I felt that too. I’ve actually never seen a couple that looks like that before.” Emma’s voice was quiet and vulnerable. “Like me.”

Alyssa’s heart rate sped up. That was the first time Emma herself had confirmed what Alyssa had only ever heard as gossip. Alyssa had of course suspected it, but there was something about Emma saying it that was so important. Now it was real. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, she continued, “Being in San Francisco, I’m surprised we haven’t seen more.”

“Yeah, there’s supposed to be a big LGBTQ+ culture here. I looked it up before we came. Apparently there’s some place called the Castro District? That seems to be the main hub.”

As Emma talked, Alyssa’s mind began moving. Her eyes grew wide as a mental lightbulb went off. 

“Emma, we should sneak out tomorrow night and go to a gay club!”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was getting to 5k words and I still had more things to add so I decided to split it up. I'm sorry!
> 
> TW: Underage drinking

It took longer than Alyssa would’ve imagined to calm Emma down and get her to come around to the idea of going out the next night. Alyssa could’ve made a game out of the amount of times Emma hysterically repeated “SNEAK OUT?”. 

“Come on, Emma, you and I have spent our whole lives being good rule following kids. I think the universe will forgive us for one night of misbehaving.”

“Why can’t we just jaywalk or pirate a movie? Why do we have to sneak out?" Emma asked, before adding in an incredulous tone. "Sneak out!” 

_Drink._

“Because this could be our only chance to experience culture before we go back home. Besides, who’s gonna catch us? I’ve hardly seen our chaperones this whole trip.” Alyssa shrugged.

“Yeah, now that you mention it, they really aren’t around much…” Emma conceded.

“It’s just one little rule we’d be breaking and I promise to make it worth your time.” Alyssa chewed on her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows in a final plea.

With eyes transfixed on the brunette’s mouth, Emma let out a heavy, somewhat defeated sigh. “Okay, fine.” 

Alyssa bounced up and down before throwing her arms around Emma with an excited squeal. “I guarantee it’ll be so much fun!”

Emma grumbled something about ending up in Alcatraz but Alyssa ignored it. Emma had agreed to break a rule and go out with her tomorrow. 

As she laid down, she forced herself to think of anything but their plans for the next evening or else she knew there was noway she’d be able to sleep. 

//

The day couldn’t go by fast enough for Alyssa. They spent the majority of it at the California Academy of Sciences, which was super cool and under different, more straight and less I'm-trying-to-court-my-best-friend circumstances Alyssa might have said it was her favorite part of the trip. But today it was the thing standing between her and a night out with Emma surrounded by people just like them.

All day she could feel the nervous energy radiating off of Emma. At one point in the middle of an exhibit, Alyssa reassured Emma that they could still call off their plans, which of course Alyssa really didn’t want to do but Emma’s comfort came first. Emma appeared to be truly contemplating taking the out before replying.

“No, I wanna go. Really. It’s just…” Emma’s eyes drifted to one of their teachers, relaxed in a chair reading a book.

Alyssa looked between the two before giving Emma a mischievous smile. It was risky, but that’s just how confident she was about her next move. Alyssa walked up to the teacher and hoped Emma could hear her as she asked, “Hey! Is it okay if Emma and I go out to the Castro District tonight?”

The teacher didn’t bother looking up from their book. They just waved their hand and said, “Mhmm, just make sure you don’t miss the shuttle back to the hotel tonight.”

Alyssa beamed with triumph as she rejoined a now shell-shocked Emma and giggled, “See? We could have our entire class switch places with an NBA team and they wouldn't notice till the plane landed back in Indiana.”

The risk was worth it because Emma seemed much more at ease from then on.

//

Although Alyssa was starting to feel certain the day was never going to end, they had finally made it back to their hotel and passed the time till the teacher came around to check that they were in their room and ready for the bed. As soon as their supervisor left, Alyssa and Emma both bolted into action. Just as Alyssa was about to start her makeup, though, she got a text from Shelby. Another picture. 

Just as the previous messages were, it was a photo from their day together. They were in the rainforest biodome and Alyssa was dying from laughter as bird after bird flocked to land on Emma’s arms that were awkwardly extended out. Alyssa zoomed into Emma’s face and laughed again from the look of annoyance. 

This time, she replied to Shelby.

**Alyssa: Hey what are you doing?**

**Shelby: Nothing. Kaylee is out with Josh and I stayed back at the room.**

**Alyssa: Want some company?**

**Shelby: Duh!**

Alyssa walked to the bathroom door and leaned against the frame. Emma’s face was scrunched up as she tried to tame her curls and Alyssa doesn’t think she’s ever looked more adorable. It took a moment before Emma realized Alyssa was there. “Sorry, I’ll be done in here in a bit.”

“Take your time. I’m gonna go get ready in Shelby’s room anyways.”

“Oh okay.” Emma wasn’t disappointed, just processing the information.

“Do you wanna just meet me there once you're done and we can head out together?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Emma paused and gave a shy smile before adding, “And Alyssa? I am really excited about tonight.”

“Me too, Emma.” Alyssa gave the moment a few seconds to hang in the air before grabbing her things and heading down to Shelby. 

Alyssa barely knocked once before the door flew open and Shelby dragged her inside. Her friend jumped onto the bed belly down, rested her hands on her cheeks, and eyed Alyssa with an eager look. “Soo…”

Alyssa giggled. “Hi to you too!”

“Yeah yeah, hi whatever. Spill!”

Alyssa furrowed her brows together and tilted her head to the side. “Spill what?”

“Oh please. Kaylee may be oblivious to things, but I’m not. Tell me everything about you and Emma!”

Face red and jaw dropped, Alyssa struggled to find words. “I mean we’re, um, having fun. Erm, friendly fun.”

“Friendly fun? Is that like gay code for…?” 

“Gay? What? No, it’s…” She looked up to see the care in Shelby’s eyes and took a deep breath before giving in. “How did you know?”

“Well first, I spent more than three seconds around the both of you. You two aren’t exactly subtle, ya know. Cute, but obvious. I just wish I made you comfortable enough to tell me about your first real relationship. I thought maybe the pictures would help let you know I was happy for you but I should’ve done more.” Shelby said, her voice rounding off with a tinge of self-disappointment.

“I really appreciated the pictures, Shelbs. It’s just… not that I don’t feel comfortable with you, it’s just all been so new and- wait. Relationship?” Shelby nodded as if to say _duh_. “Oh no, we’re not dating.” 

“What?!” If Shelby had been drinking water, Alyssa would have surely been in the splash zone. “I thought for sure… Alright well that's cool too. So you two are just fu-“

“Shelby! It’s not like that. I’m just hopelessly into her and have no idea what she’s thinking or feeling and I don’t know if I even want to the longer this goes on because if she didn’t feel the same way I think my heart might actually stop beating.” 

“Oh, hon.” Shelby walked over to Alyssa and wrapped her into a loving embrace. “I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, like you’re her whole world. Plus, you’re a complete catch. The only two outcomes are: her saying she feels the same way or her not saying anything at all and taking you where you stand.”

“Oh my god,” Alyssa groaned at the last comment but felt a grin betray her anyways. “I'm gonna tell her tonight. Shit, I need to get ready!”

As Alyssa filled Shelby in on her plans for the night, she started on her makeup, wearing more than usual hoping it would help her look a little older. She invited Shelby to join them out but she was very adamant about being there when Kaylee returned. Switching the conversation, Shelby started to razz her about her crush while she watched her get ready and Alyssa had never felt more like a normal teenage girl in her life. 

Alyssa grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom to change, but Shelby only talked louder so she didn’t miss a word of teasing. Her friend only stopped when Alyssa stepped back into the room and Shelby let out a low whistle. “If Emma wasn’t gay before, she definitely will be after seeing you.”

Alyssa rolled her eyes before becoming a bit bashful. “Is it too much?”

“Hell no. It’s perfect. Greg may have loved that outfit, but Emma is gonna die at its hands.”

Alyssa blushed furiously as she looked down at the outfit the girls had given her on her birthday: a white, lacy crop top with an inch or two of skin exposed before a leather skirt started and went down to her mid thigh, finished off with red strappy heels. Shelby dug through her suitcase before throwing a red leather jacket at Alyssa. “Here.”

As Alyssa slipped on the jacket and returned to the bathroom do some finishing touches, a soft knock came from the door. Shelby got up to let Emma in, greeting her with a hug, and returned to her spot on the bed, Emma following behind. She heard Emma inviting Shelby out with them tonight. Exiting the bathroom, she responded “I already tried, but she insists on being here when Kaylee gets back.”

“Whoa,” was all Emma managed as she took in Alyssa, mouth agape. The gaze was heavy, causing a certain heat to rush through the brunette. Alyssa had been the subject of the male gaze for most of her teenage life, but that only ever made her feel gross. But now, with Emma looking at her with a certain fire in her eye, she’d never felt more attractive. God, she hoped they could make it to at least one club before Alyssa lost all self control.

“Emma, you got a little drool right there,” Shelby teased wiping at her mouth and inspiring a new shade of red on the blondes cheeks. 

“It’s too much, right? I can change real quick.” 

“No! You look… stunning.” Emma stopped her, before looking down at her own outfit. “But now I feel under dressed.”

Alyssa studied her for a moment. She was wearing a red and black flannel shirt, black skinny jeans, and black Chelsea boots. The outfit looked great on her as it was, but Alyssa saw somethings that could make it more club ready. First she rolled up each sleeve once, then twice. Then she undid the top few buttons, dragging her finger down Emma's chest to separate the fabric. She next unbuttoned a some from the bottom and tied the ends together. It didn’t look bad but she wasn’t sure it was the right look. Wanting a second opinion, she glanced back to Shelby, who shook her head against it so Alyssa tried something else. 

She redid the buttons before tucking the front into the girls pants. Emma took in a sharp breath and Alyssa tried not to think about how close her hands were to new territory. This earned a thumbs up and sly grin from Shelby. At this point, Alyssa wasn’t sure if it was actually because she liked the look or if it was just more teasing on her friends part. Alyssa thought it looked great though so she left it and moved on. She slipped both of her hands into Emma’s roots to tousle her hair a bit, bringing their faces closes enough for her to hear a soft hum in response to the action from the blonde followed shortly by faint _click_ from somewhere else. She made a mental note to murder Shelby later. 

Stepping back, Alyssa surprised herself a little with how quickly Emma went from sweet and kissable to hot and… 

Not allowing herself to finish that thought, she checked in on the blonde. “You look incredible, but you also looked amazing before so whatever you’re comfortable with, Em.” 

Emma took in the changes to her outfit through the mirror and stood a little taller, seemingly satisfied. 

Finally ready to leave, Shelby walked the girls to the door, wishing them a fun, safe night, before leaning in and whispering to Alyssa. “She doesn’t stand a chance.” Alyssa rolled her eyes into a smile and then gave Shelby a tight hug before catching up with Emma.

//

Emma had been studying the public transit earlier that day and perfectly navigated them to the Castro District. They wandered around for a bit before they found a place called The Q that they saw a slightly older lesbian couple go into. There was a bouncer at the door and they could feel the bass all the way from outside. They had their IDs ready as they walked up but were never asked for them. Instead, the bouncer gave them a look over, stamped their hands, and let them in. She noticed Emma examining the fresh ink with concern on her face so she bent close and reassured her that she could get it out later before grabbing her hand and leading them inside.

Alyssa wasn’t really sure what to expect. All Edgewater had was one bar that her mother wouldn’t even let her in the parking lot of. The Q was almost like what she had seen in tv and movies, just a little more gross without that hollywood magic. To the right was the bar. There were tables randomly placed in the center, mostly high tops, but everyone seemed to be standing around for the most part. In the back was the dance floor and DJ and to the left were pool tables and dart and shuffle boards. There were more people than she had been expecting for a weekday night, but that just meant it would be easier to blend in. Emma squeezed Alyssa’s hand and she knew why.

There were people of every shape and size and color and gender and sexuality and it was the most amazing thing the two had ever seen. 

Alyssa felt all her nervousness be replaced with pure excitement. She led the two of them up to the bar to grab waters, but when she was about to ask, the bartender explained the drink specials for the night and the next thing she knew she ordered two drinks called Pride Punch. When the bartender set the pink drinks in front of them, Alyssa watched Emma carefully, awaiting her next move. The blonde eyed it for a moment then lifted it to Alyssa. “To gay!”

Alyssa giggled before cheersing. “To gay!”

They both took a sip and expertly hid their disgust at the taste of vodka. When Alyssa reached for a card to pay, a girl near them insisted it went on her tab. They went to thank her but she put up a hand and turned to Emma to say “I guess you owe me now.”

She gave Emma a wink before walking off and Alyssa felt this harsh feeling rise up her gut. Emma looked stunned, mouth gaping ever so slightly, as she watched the stranger saunter away. Alyssa shook off the unfamiliar feeling that overcame her, not wanting it to ruin their night. 

As they sipped on their drinks, they talked freely, soaking in their surrounding. They watched in awe of everyone around them being so true and authentic and just _themselves_. “They’re all so beautiful.” Alyssa hummed.

“Yeah,” Emma agreed in wonder. “Thanks for talking me into this, by the way. I know it’s not necessarily your thing but it means a lot to me.”

“Of course, Emma.” Alyssa said sincerely. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that though… There’s something I’ve been wanting to say. For a while now, actually.”

“You can tell me anything, Alyssa.”

The brunette felt a dangerous mix of thrill and apprehension coursing through her veins. Emma stared at her with such affection that Alyssa knew she wouldn’t survive this either way. The longer she stared into those hazel eyes the more she wanted to close the distance between them and tell Emma everything she’d been feeling with her lips rather than her words. She took a deep breath and was mid sip of courage when the girl from the bar approached them, hand extended to Emma. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. People call me Summer and not just because I’m so hot.”

Alyssa could throw up on her feet for that horrible line, but the night was too early for them to get kicked out. Alyssa wasn’t blind though. She could see how some people might say the girl was hot. She had a snapback over bright blonde hair that was shaved on one side and cut into a clean a-line otherwise. She was taller than Emma and looked their age. Her outfit consisted of tight black jeans and a white button up shirt (that, in Alyssa’s opinion, should have had a few more buttons done up) and a black vest hung open over it. Alyssa thought how _gay_ she looked and suddenly felt very self conscious herself. 

“Oh, nice to meet you, Summer. I’m Emma.” The blonde responded. “And this is Alyssa.” 

Alyssa would’ve said hello but _Summer_ never acknowledged her. 

“Emma. That feels nice on the lips. I've never seen you around. Are you new here?" 

"Yeah, just visiting." Emma answered.

"Well that would explain it. Are you here with anyone tonight?”

Emma looked confused by the question before motioning to Alyssa again. “Yeah, again, this is Alyssa.”

Summer’s eyes flickered to her with an almost attitude. “Oh I didn’t realize you two were a couple.”

Alyssa felt completely paralyzed. All she could do was continue to watch this exchange and hope the world opened up and swallowed either this girl or herself. She would have been okay with either.

Blushing, Emma quickly corrected the girl. “Oh, no. I guess we’re not really together like that.”

A sly grin grew on Summer’s face as she watched the door that led to Emma open back up and Alyssa felt her heart plummeting. “Well, that’s great news for me. How do you feel about pool?”

Emma looked to Alyssa in a way that seemed like she was asking for permission. Suddenly, Alyssa felt like she couldn’t breathe. All she wanted to do was tell this girl to bug off and finish her confession to Emma. But all she wanted for Emma was for her to be happy and here was this conventionally beautiful girl hitting on her, offering her a first genuine, romantic experience. How could she come in between that? Praying to keep her voice steady, she offered, “That could be fun. If you wanna go, Emma.”

Alyssa thought she saw a glint of disappointment in Emma but it could have just been wishful thinking. Whatever it was, Emma quickly replaced it with a smile before accepting the offer. Desperate for room to breathe, Alyssa told them she was going to the bar for another drink and swiftly escaped. She ordered another Pride Punch before adding, “Summer’s tab; thanks!” 

Drinking her new cocktail at a more rapid rate than the first, Alyssa watched from a barstool as the blonde pair started up a game of pool. How could she be so stupid as to bring Emma to a gay bar and not expect her to get swooped up in the first 30 minutes? She knew she was only torturing herself, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. Of all the ways she thought she might die tonight, this was definitely not one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news is i have about 2k of the next chapter already done so it should hopefully be up soon! As always, thanks to everyone who comments and is honestly just still following along. Y'all are the best!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Underage drinking

Even after all those years of hearing how awful hell is, Alyssa still wasn’t prepared for it to be this bad. She would gladly take the fire and brimstone over having to watch _Summer_ standing behind Emma, much closer than necessary, teaching her how to play pool. Taking another swig of her cocktail, courtesy of the other blonde, Alyssa searched Emma’s face for any clue as to how she felt about this new girl. 

Emma had been participating in the conversation, but from what it looked like, Summer was mostly dominating it. Every now and again Emma would laugh and Alyssa couldn’t help but observe that it was never her full belly laugh that she was now hoping was reserved for her and only her. Honestly, it seemed more one sided than anything until… _ugh_. 

Emma reached out and briefly touched Summer’s arm. It was the first time Emma had initiated anything between the two and Alyssa felt that weird feeling in her stomach again. Summer hitting on Emma made sense. Emma was the complete package. Anyone in their gay mind would try and hit on her. But now Emma was showing signs back and it was just all too much. 

Needing to look away, she dragged her attention to the other patrons in the bar. There was a very intense darts tournament happening in one corner and the dance floor was occupied with couples of every age. Some dancing sweet and some provocative, the actual music not seeming to matter. In the sea of dancing bodies, Alyssa spotted a familiar face. He was dancing intimately with a guy she’d never seen before. Feeling good from her second drink and happy for a distraction, she waved enthusiastically to get his attention. “Hey! Josh!”

Somehow, over the booming music, Alyssa had actually managed to get the boys attention and he made his way over to her with a surprised but friendly grin. “Alyssa, right? Kaylee’s told me a lot about you!”

“Well right back at ya, Mr. Abs of Steel.” Alyssa patted his stomach and yeah, okay it was impressive.

Josh chuckled. “What are you doing here? You’re not alone, are you?”

Alyssa let an exasperated sigh. “I might as well be. Emma and I came together but she’s… preoccupied.”

Josh followed her gaze to the pool table, where Summer was laughing at something Emma had said. “Oh, I see. So you really like her, huh?”

“That obvious?” She took his laugh as a yes. “Yeah, I really like her. More than I thought was possible.”

“Then why don’t you tell her?

“I’ve tried. Well, I’ve thought about trying a lot. I was going to tonight, but now she has a real gay goddess she can date so it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Real gay goddess?”

“Yeah, look at her. She oozes gay energy and next to her I'm just so inadequate.” Alyssa thought for a moment before more panic filled her voice as she added, “I don’t even own one flannel!” 

“Okay, come here,” Josh brought Alyssa into a supportive embrace. “Being gay isn’t a competition, Alyssa. It doesn’t matter how you dress or if you’ve kissed a hundred girls. You have feelings for Emma, right?” Alyssa nodded. “Well, I hate to tell you this but that’s pretty gay.”

Alyssa laughed for the first time that night. Kaylee was right, this guy was pretty great. After they separated, Josh busied himself with his phone for a moment and Alyssa ordered another drink. When the bartender asked if it was still under the Summer tab, Alyssa replied “Yep!”

“Alyssa,” Josh scolded her before telling the server to put it under his own tab. Alyssa gave a guilty smile accompanied with a shrug. The two fell into easy conversation for a while before the two blondes joined them at the bar. 

“I’ll have a sex on the beach, please. Emma, would you like one too?” Summer asked with a look in her eye that made Alyssa’s stomach churn.

“No thanks, I liked whatever Alyssa ordered us the first time.” 

Alyssa was two drinks in and had no control over the smug look she shot Summer. “A pride punch.”

Forgetting they didn’t know Josh yet, he introduced himself. “How did the game go?”

“I got my butt kicked.” Emma answered.

“I could give you private lessons, if you’d like. Might take all night, but I have the stamina.” Summer cooed.

Alyssa could feel it happening. The grip on her drink tightened and she prayed the weight of the situation would be enough to hold her arm down. Instead, it was the weight of Josh’s hand that held her back as he smoothly pulled Summer into a one on one conversation, giving Alyssa and Emma a chance to talk. 

With every unspoken word hanging in the air, it felt charged and awkward. Alyssa knew she would have to be the first to speak. She was feeling tipsy and a slight lack of control as she broke the silence. "Did you know it's illegal to have oral sex in Indiana?"

Emma choked on her new drink. "What?"

"Yeah, there's actually a law against it."

"Alyssa, that sounds like something your mom made up to scare you."

The lightweight pulled out her phone and typed rapidly into google, which luckily deciphered her sloppy texting. "Nope, look it's real. Isn't that awful for us?" She quickly added, "As women, I mean."

Emma laughed before agreeing. "Yeah, that does suck. As women, of course."

Alyssa hummed. "So, are you having fun?”

“I guess. It’s not really how I thought tonight would go.” Emma spoke with hesitation.

Alyssa chose her words carefully. “Yeah, me neither. Summer seems like a personality though.”

“She definitely knows how to have fun. And she’s very confident.”

“And pretty.” The brunette couldn’t stop herself. “So are you gonna see where things go?”

“I don’t know. What do you think I should do?” Emma’s voice was small yet full of yearning.

“I think that anyone who can see what a catch you are clearly has something going for them. You’re my best friend, Emma, and I just want you to be happy no matter what.” 

Emma simply nodded in response, a now unreadable expression on her face, before Summer was back on her arm and insisting they play darts. Alyssa managed to curl her lips upward and prayed her eyes didn’t give up her act as she watched the two walk away for the second time that night. She was going to be supportive of Emma if it killed her, which was very likely. 

Josh put an arm around Alyssa and as soon as she was sure Emma was out of earshot, she rolled her face into his shoulder and let out a muffled groan. Josh was sweet and tried to keep Alyssa entertained with humorous anecdotes and silly people watching games. It didn’t stop her from seeing the first time Summer leaned into Emma and whispered something in her ear, causing a blush on Emma’s face. Not the first time, at least, but eventually, Alyssa was able to block it all out and if things kept progressing, Alyssa wasn't watching. 

//

Josh was mid story about a time he accidentally hitch hiked his way into a high speed police chase when Alyssa’s phone went off three times in a row. She snapped out of their conversation and checked it. _3 Text Messages from Emma._ Alyssa’s eyes shot up and she scanned the room for the blonde. Just realizing Emma was no longer playing darts, she opened the messages with urgency. 

**Emma: Help**  
**Emma: SOS**  
**Emma: Bathroom now pls!**

Heart racing, Alyssa quickly excused herself to the restroom. It was locked when she got there so she knocked and called through. The door started to peak open when hazel eyes spotted her and yanked her in. Emma slammed the door and locked it quickly.

“Emma, what’s wrong? If that girl did anything to you, I swear to god…”

“What? Oh no, sorry. Nothing’s wrong like that. She’s cool. But she wants to dance and I don’t know how. Should I just tell her no? I should tell her no. Oh god, I don’t know how to dance. I can vote but I can’t dance!” Emma rambled on, pacing the small room. 

Shoving down the green feeling creeping up inside her, she focused on how adorable nervous Emma can be. Alyssa rested her hands on her friends shoulders, feeling them instantly relax into the touch. “Hey, first off: deep breaths. Second, everyone can dance. Just gotta move your hips.” 

“Oh sure it’s that easy. I’ll just ‘move my hips’.” Emma was getting hysterical at this point and Alyssa wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep talking to Emma about her new girl problems without giving herself away. 

Emma was making sarcastic remarks about how simple Alyssa made it seem when the brunette let out a sigh and grabbed Emma by the hips. The contact immediately rendered the blonde speechless. “Move with me.”

With about a half a foot between them and her hands still on Emma’s hips, Alyssa began moving them side to side to the bass still very apparent even behind the closed bathroom door. Once Emma seemed to have the basic movement down, Alyssa threw in a little dip with each swing. Emma followed her in a trance. While the motion was there, Emma was too tense and her motions choppy. Alyssa lifted one of her hands to push the hair away from Emma’s ear as she leaned in and breathed “You gotta relax.” Pulling her head back, she dragged the tips of her fingers down Emma’s neck and over her shoulder and down to her wrist. Emma’s hands still hadn’t found anything to do, so Alyssa helped guide them to her own hips

Alyssa wondered if Emma felt the same electricity she did at having her’s hands sitting low on her sides. When Emma’s grip firmed and thumbs pressed into exposed skin, Alyssa’s breath staggered. The brunette slid her own arms to rest around the blondes neck. Emma's eyes were dilated and looking at Alyssa with a certain craving and Alyssa found herself drifting closer to Emma. Between their new proximity and the swaying motions, Alyssa’s skirt raised a little more with each movement until it was high enough that Emma’s thigh rubbed against her just right and- _oh._

A desperate moan escaped Alyssa’s throat and the noise was like a trigger for Emma. Her expression became somewhat wild and the next thing she knew, Emma used the hands still on Alyssa’s hips to turn her around and pulled her back into Emma’s front, eliminating any space that was still left between them. The brunette gasped as she closed her eyes to concentrate on how it felt to have Emma’s chest on her back, hips aligned with her own, mouth hovering near her neck. Alyssa’s body was on fire and she couldn’t help but push back into Emma as they kept their tempo going. 

Once they found a steady rhythm, Emma let a hand explore. She moved it slow and hesitant at first, riding up to rest on Alyssa’s ribs for a moment before sliding back down onto the exposed skin of her thigh where the skirt ended. As she became more confident, Emma brought her other hand into it, wandering with fervor and Alyssa thought for sure this is how she would die: at the hands of Emma Nolan.

She should laugh at how insane this was, Alyssa Greene in a bathroom at a bar she snuck into grinding with her best friend to teach her how to do the same thing with an annoyingly pretty girl that was _not_ herself. This is probably the exact thing Mrs Greene was most worried about happening on this trip.

She could laugh at how insane this was, but she’d rather let the moment consume her, using one hand to travel where Emma’s wouldn’t, up her chest, her neck, into her hair, and her other to grab one of Emma’s to push down, increasing the pressure of Emma’s touch on her body.

She would laugh at how insane it was, if she wasn’t too distracted by Emma’s breath on her neck and they way Alyssa could almost control it. Like when Alyssa brought Emma’s hand up to graze the side of her breast, it sped up. Or how when Alyssa whimpered to the touch, it became ragged. And when Alyssa rolled her hips back into Emma, it stopped all together.

“Alyssa…” Emma pleaded once air finally returned to her lungs. Alyssa’s always loved how Emma said her name, with such care and compassion. But this time it was different. It was instead coated in lust and desire and Alyssa couldn’t take it much longer. Opening her eyes, she turned around in Emma’s arms to meet pure passion. Emma kept a firm hold on Alyssa and time began to slow down. Alyssa looked down at Emma’s lips, watching with anticipation, praying Emma could find the strength she lacked to satisfy them both.

“Alyssa…” Her name came again, this time rolling over her, carrying a strong scent of alcohol. As soon as it hit Alyssa, the moment came crashing down around her. She remembered where they were and how they got there and who was waiting outside the restroom. Her chest tightened and she suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

Alyssa placed her hands on Emma’s shoulders and mumbled “You got it,” before gently pushing them apart. The room was spinning and the nausea was growing in her stomach. 

She hurried out of the bathroom and past the bar. “Alyssa, what’s wrong?” The voice was familiar but she didn’t have time to check who it was, if she would even be able to tell through the tears swarming her face. Alyssa didn’t have time for anything but getting outside. She needed fresh air and she needed it now. Continuing on, she pushed through the crowd to an exit before stumbling out into an alley. Hands on her knees, she tried to remember how breathe but the weight of the evening was pressing down on her lungs and it felt impossible. 

This was not at all how tonight was supposed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another very grateful thank you to everyone who comments and yells at me about this! I appreciate the heck out of y'all!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "One woman's word vomit, is another woman's treasure."-probably nobody

Maybe it was the alcohol. Alyssa had only ever had a light beer or two that usually warmed before she was finished and ended up being tossed anyways. But tonight, she was in the middle of her fourth drink before she actually stopped and she was feeling is all over her body and mind and all major organs in-between. 

Or maybe it was the thought of Emma dancing with Summer the way they had in the bathroom, staggered breath, frantic hands, guttural moans. She let her mind wander to whether or not Emma would speak Summer’s name with the same longing she had uttered Alyssa’s and her stomach lurched. 

Realistically, it was probably a combination of the two, each fueling the other. 

Whatever it was causing the sick feeling in her stomach, Alyssa now found herself throwing up through salty tears in an alleyway behind a bar that she wasn’t even sure how to get home from. 

But she wasn’t alone long before she felt a pair of hands rubbing her back and another holding her hair, a compassionate voice soon following. “Oh, babe.”

“How are you two here?” Alyssa asked, as confused as she was grateful.

“Josh text me a while ago that he found you and said you could use some friends.” Kaylee explained.

“Yeah, ‘Lys, if I had known how tonight was gonna go…” Shelby started.

“If you would’ve known how tonight was gonna go, I hope you would’ve saved me from my misery and-“ She was cut off by another heave.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Shelby asked with immense sympathy.

Alyssa thought for a moment. “Honestly, not here. Not now.”

“That’s okay. Whenever you’re ready.”

“Do you want me to go in there and kick that girls ass into the ocean? Because I may seem tiny but I know I could do it.” Kaylee threatened as she began stretching.

“Yeah, we can see how _Summer_ does in the freezing cold water.” Shelby joined in.

“I’ve always loved the transition of Summer to _fall_. I don’t think anyone would complain if it happened early this year.” Kaylee bounced back.

Alyssa chuckled through her sniffles. “That’s tempting, but I think I’d just like to go back to the hotel now.”

“Fine, but if I ever see her again, it’s over for that-“

“Hey girls, I just wanted to check and make sure everything’s okay?” 

Wiping away her tears, Alyssa asked, slightly shocked, “Greg, what are you doing here?”

“We were all hanging out when Josh text me, so he tagged along.” Kaylee answered for him.

“Hmph,” Alyssa responded, letting him know that she didn’t entirely approve of his presence. Emma could forgive him if she wanted to, but Alyssa still couldn’t understand what could possibly justify his actions. She didn’t miss the guilt on his face though, as he handed her a glass of water. 

They stayed outside for a minute more, giving Alyssa time to wipe her eyes and mouth, make sure her make up wasn’t running, and finish the water before heading back in. She didn’t have much of a game plan. Her mind was too hazy and she really just wanted to be in a bed right now. It was late now anyways and the club would be closing soon.

Greg grabbed the door while motioning for the girls to head in. Alyssa started but as soon as she got a few feet in she froze. Standing at the bar with her back to her was Emma. Summer was in front of her, with a hand on Emma’s shoulder, leaning with eyes closed. Perhaps Alyssa shouldn’t have drank the water because she suddenly felt it making a return.

She spun around and barely made it back outside in time. “I need to get out of here.”

Shelby, who had been right behind Alyssa and witnessed the moment as well, devised the plan. “Kaylee and I will take you back and Greg and Josh can stay and make sure Emma gets to the hotel safe and sound.”

“Yeah right, like I’ll trust Greg to help Emma. I can just hangout here until she and Summer are… finished.” Alyssa objected.

Greg looked Alyssa in the eye for the first time since the incident at dinner. “Alyssa, I owe you an apology too. The way I behaved was childish. I have had a crush on you basically our whole lives and I convinced myself that you were just playing hard to get. Then I realized that you liked Emma and I let my jealousy get the better of me and took it out on a girl whose only crime was making you happy. I’m so sorry.”

Alyssa listened, dumbstruck by the confession. “Wow… Well, thank you for the apology. It does mean a lot.” She paused for a moment. “Wait, so everyone knows I have a massive crush on Emma?”

The three gave a collective, mumbled “Yeah”.

“Well, besides Emma.” Kaylee added, hands flying to her mouth as if trying to take it back.

But Alyssa just laughed. She laughed harder than she had laughed in a long time. The absurdity of her situation crashed down on her like a piano in an old cartoon. The only person she wanted to know about her feelings just happened to be the only one who was absolutely clueless. It was like something out of one of her moms ridiculous Hallmark movies. 

Her friends watched with concern and confusion as she eventually calmed down, ending the laughter with a small whimper. 

After getting Alyssa’s blessing, they went on with Shelby’s plan. Greg went on in to meet Josh and stay with Emma while Kaylee and Shelby linked arms with Alyssa and started their journey back. 

It killed the brunette to leave without saying anything, but she knew she wasn’t strong enough to go back in and wait for Emma and Summer to stop making out or dancing or whatever they were doing at this point. She did trust Greg and Josh to watch over Emma though. However childish it was, after tonight, she could understand where Greg was coming from. As they made their trip back to the hotel, Alyssa mused about all the things she wanted to throw at Summer other than spaghetti. 

//

Although the alcohol was wearing off, Alyssa still knew she was in no emotional state to be near Emma tonight. She simply didn’t trust herself not to make things worse. Shelby must have sensed it too, because she offered Alyssa a space in their bed. The three girls have had sleepovers in much smaller capacities and they both insisted she stayed, even though Alyssa really didn’t need much convincing. 

Shelby let her borrow pajamas and they got comfortable on the bed. Shelby was laying across the head of the bed, while Kaylee and Alyssa sat next to each other at the foot of the bed. Alyssa filled them in on the events of the night, not missing a detail from the second they walked in till her friends found her outside.

“Shit, ‘Lys. That sounds intense.” Shelby said.

Alyssa blushed thinking back to the bathroom. “Yeah, it was… But it wasn’t real. I’m sure she was just thinking of Summer the whole time.”

“Alyssa, you beautiful idiot, even if Emma does like Summer, which I’m not buying, there’s no way that she isn’t even a little into you. You can’t fake that shit.” 

Alyssa sighed. She wanted to believe Shelby but if Emma felt the same way, why hasn’t she said or acted on anything yet? Probably for the same rationale as herself, she reasoned. 

Realizing Alyssa still wasn’t convinced nor satisfied, Shelby continued. “How about this: Get a good nights rest, we can talk some more in the morning if you need, but then you go back to the room and just feel out how the rest of her night went with Summer. If she says she’s head over heels for this girl, we’ll find the biggest tub of ice cream we can and do face masks and talk about how dumb Summer is. But if she doesn’t say that she’s the one, you tell Emma how to feel. And then we’ll probably still get a big tub of ice cream to celebrate because it sounds really good right now.”

Alyssa's mind wandered back to the last time she had ice cream, on the bench with Emma, and she'd be lying if she didn't say she'd been craving more of that taste since. _God, I’m so screwed._ Refocusing, Alyssa agreed. She went to grab her phone to text Emma about seeing her in the morning when she realized she didn’t have it. The last place she remembered it was… “Shit, I think I left my phone at the bar.”

“Oh! Josh found it and gave it to me while you were… busy in the bathroom.” Kaylee remembered, pulling Alyssa’s phone out of her bra and handing it over.

Alyssa felt her stomach flip when she saw she had missed four messages from Emma.

**Emma: Hey where’d you go?**  
**Emma: Greg is here? Are you okay?**  
**Emma: He just came back and told me you left. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well. I wish you would’ve told me. I would have left too.**  
**Emma: I’ll see you back at the room, right?**

_Shit._ She quickly typed up a message and hit send.

**Alyssa: Hey, Em. Sorry I bolted. I was really nauseous. I’m actually staying in Kaylee and Shelby’s room but I’ll be by in the morning. Did you make it back okay?**

She waited a beat before adding:

**Alyssa: I hope you had a fun time tonight.**

She had “xoxo” but deleted it and opted for a purple heart emoji instead. She was surprised by how fast Emma responded. 

**Emma: Yes I did. Drink lots of water and let me know if I can do anything. I’ll see you in the morning.**

Alyssa watched as the typing bubble appeared, vanished, appeared, vanished, hardly noticing that her breathing mirrored the little notification. 

**Emma: It was good, but I wish we had more time together. I missed you tonight. Sleep well, Alyssa.**

And just like that Alyssa felt herself falling again. 

**Alyssa: Missed you too. Sweet dreams, Emma.**

Alyssa put her phone away, feeling hope float back into her heart. “Thanks again for my phone, Kay.”

“Thank Josh! He’s the one who found it.”

“I definitely will.” Alyssa mused. “Oh! Kaylee, I have to tell you something about it. First off, he is just as amazing as you said. But you should know, he was dancing pretty intimately with a guy at the club. Like, _very_ intimately.”

“Oh that’s okay, we’re just having fun. It's nothing serious.”

“No, Kaylee, I mean…” Alyssa sighed. Edgewater was a bubble and she concluded that she was going to have to be blunt for Kaylee to understand what she was saying. Alyssa turned to face Kaylee, who mirrored her shift. Grabbing her hands, Alyssa explained. “Josh is gay.”

“Don’t be so close minded, Alyssa. Josh is _bi_.” Kaylee retorted.

“Same," came a third voice.

Alyssa and Kaylee both snapped their heads towards Shelby who was casually flipping through something on her phone. As if she felt the weight of their stare or a seismic wave from the velocity at which their jaws dropped, Shelby put her phone down and met their gaze before shrugging nonchalantly and going back to her phone.

The two friends followed her lead and didn’t make a big deal out of the news they just received. Instead, Alyssa offered a laid-back “Cool” while Kaylee moved over to lay next to Shelby, patting her shoulder to for the friend to rest her head on before they fell back into conversations about everything and nothing.

Maybe it was a result of being in another city and out of their small minded town or perhaps it was simply the product of growing up. Either way, Alyssa had never felt closer to her friends than she did that night, finally being on the receiving end of relationship advice after so many years of giving it. Alyssa drifted off to sleep that night snug between Kaylee and Shelby and filled with love and appreciation for her two oldest friends. 

//

Somehow, Alyssa found herself back in the club. Nobody else was there but Emma. They were slow dancing, and Alyssa felt calm.

_How are we here? No, that doesn’t matter. Stop wasting time. Just tell her how you feel._

“Alyssa, what is it?” Emma asked. 

_I like you, Emma._

“Alyssa, talk to me. What’s going on?” Emma pleaded. 

_Oh no, she can’t hear me._

“Don’t bother, Alyssa, you aren’t good enough for her anyways.” It was a new voice. It was…

_Mom? Is that you?_

Alyssa turned around to find the voice but only saw Summer. “Emma deserves the world, someone who is sure of themselves. Someone who can make her happy.”

Emma began to push away from Alyssa.

_No, Emma, please. I want to make you happy. I will try my hardest. Whatever it takes. I can be whatever you want._

“She doesn’t want you, Alyssa. She wants more.” Mrs. Greene’s voice echoed out of Summer’s body. Emma was walking away and no matter how hard Alyssa tried, she couldn’t get close enough to stop her. Every time she reached out her hand, Emma was just a few inches farther ahead, but she couldn’t stop trying.

_Emma, please don’t leave me._

Instead of feeling her hand on Emma’s arm, she felt one on her own. “Alyssa, hey, you’re okay.”

Alyssa woke up with a jolt to find Shelby’s worried face next to hers. Her voice was groggy as she spoke. “I had the craziest dream. Summer but with my moms voice.”

“Babe, that was a nightmare.” Shelby yawned. “Alcohol dreams are the worst. Are you okay?”

Alyssa answered wearily, “Yeah, it was just silly. Thank you though. Go back to sleep now.”

Shelby made an incoherent noise as she rolled back into her pillow and dozed back off. Alyssa wasn’t quite so fortunate and laid awake for another hour or so, unable to fight off the feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness. 

//

The girls let Alyssa sleep in, knowing she needed it. She probably would have slept longer too if it weren’t for the splitting headache knocking on her skull. Groaning, she got up to find a bottle of water on the nightstand with some Excedrin. _Thank you, Shelby and Kaylee._ Giving herself a few minutes to wake up, she searched to find the two girls in the bathroom. Kaylee was in the shower and Shelby was doing her make-up. Shelby gave her one last pep talk and Alyssa responded by smothering them in love and gratitude before walking with purpose back to her room.

She knocked before entering, figuring it’d be best to give Emma a warning just in case she was changing or something of the sort. As she entered the room, she wasted no time finding Emma, who was in the back looking through her suitcase. When she heard the brunette enter, she turned around holding a jacket. Her face lit up when she saw Alyssa, releasing butterflies in her stomach. “Hey, Emma.”

“Hi, Alyssa.” Emma responded, a new kind of tenderness in her voice. “How are you feeling?”

“Good! Well, not good. I have a headache, but I’m feeling much better otherwise.” _Stick to the plan._ Alyssa was trying to keep her voice steady and hide any sign of nerves as she continued. “How was the rest of your night with Summer?”

Emma was slipping on the jacket over her arms as she spoke. “It was fine. I didn’t stay long after you left. I was-”

“Is that a hickey?” Alyssa interupted, her voice seeping with hurt and disbelief. Emma had lifted her hair after her jacket was on to pull it out from between her body and the fabric. It was quick, but the red mark on her neck was unmistakable. 

“What?” Emma shot back, sounding confused. She reached her hand to the area Alyssa’s eyes were glued, realization dawning on her face. “So what if it is, Alyssa?”

“Then that’s fine! I was just asking. If you want to let random strangers in clubs give you hickies, that’s none of my business.” Alyssa responded, the condescension evident in her voice.

“You’re right, it isn’t your business. And it’s not ‘random strangers’, it was one stranger that _you_ insisted I get to know. Why do you even care so much? You’re not my mom, Alyssa.” Whatever tenderness Emma’s voice carried when Alyssa first arrived was slowly being replaced with irritation.

“I’m not trying to be your mom!” Alyssa spat back.

“Then what are you trying to be?”

“You’re…” The word “girl” caught on the tip of her tongue. “...friend. I’m allowed to worry about you.” Her tone lowered slightly.

“A real friend wouldn’t treat me like this, Alyssa, so don’t bother worrying about me anymore. I was fine before we started hanging out and I’ll be fine now that we’re done.” Emma grumbled. 

“Yeah, well me too.” She lied. “I hope you and Summer are happy together, Em.”

Emma stared at her for a moment, annoyance and anguish battling in her eyes and mouth open and ready to say something. But instead she closed her jaw, grabbed her key, and left the room with a slam of the door leaving Alyssa more alone than she had ever felt in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was brought to you by: You know who you are. 
> 
> Anywho, love you all! New update soonish I promise!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like the last chapter either, y'all, so here we go!

Alyssa stood alone in the room. It may have only been for a few minutes or it may have been a few hours. She wasn’t sure. When Emma left her, she had taken with her every last bit of life Alyssa had left. 

Alyssa didn’t cry. She didn’t yell. She didn’t crumble or weep or fall or wail. She would have had to have felt something to emote it. But standing in that room - their room - in the ruins of her own happiness, she felt nothing. 

She pulled out her phone and called her teacher to explain she was sick and going to stay in bed all day. She then text Kaylee and Shelby that she was fine, just hungover and to enjoy their day.

Satisfied that anyone who needed to be was notified of her absence, Alyssa walked on autopilot to the bathroom before turning on the hot water in the shower. Bathing was a routine that she could rely on and she let her body perform the task, no conscious needed. The warm water ran over her, usually a source of comfort, but today simply a reminder on her skin that she was still there. Once she was out and dry, she moved her suitcase off the cot and laid down, finding no difficulties drifting off to sleep in her own numbness.

//

It was almost noon when Alyssa woke up. She checked her phone to see a few texts from Kaylee and Shelby. 

**Shelby: Poor thing! Drink more water and sleep it off.**  
**Kaylee: Love you, girl!**  
\---------  
**Shelby: Alyssa, we just saw Emma and she looks miserable. What happened this morning?**  
**Kaylee: Yeah, she didn’t even thank our bus driver. It must’ve been bad. Call us please.**  
\---------  
**Shelby: Alyssa, are you still coming to the theatre tonight? I know how excited you were to see the show and I think it would be good for you to take your mind off things.**  
**Kaylee: I heard there’s gonna be a real llama on stage! You gotta come!**

Mixed in were a lot of emojis and memes in an attempt to lift her spirits. Alyssa knew they meant well and it did warm her heart for just a moment to know they were so concerned. 

But in the span of a few short days, Alyssa had managed to completely self-destruct her life and she wasn’t sure how she was going to get over that. 

She called her mother, another function of which she could glide through the motions. When she first heard her mother’s voice, she hadn’t anticipated to flinch at the memory of her dream rushing back into her mind, so vivid and life-like. They chatted for a bit before Alyssa made up an excuse about having to hang up. She gave herself a mental pat on the back for getting through it.

Laying back down on the cot, Alyssa let her mind wander to how she got here. The trip had begun blooming with hope and potential. It was just her and Emma getting to know each other, no agenda and no complications. But somewhere down the road, things became bumpy and muddy and she couldn’t pinpoint when it started. She analyzed every moment and the words that followed. 

And then she analyzed every moment and the words that didn’t follow. 

Alyssa had so many opportunities to tell Emma how she felt. So many that she lost count along the way. Instead of going after what she wanted, she let her fears and doubts hold her back just like she’d always done. She did what she thought other people would want her to and look where it got her.

At least Emma could be happy. That was what Alyssa cared about most at the end of the day, afterall. Emma had Summer now and they could get to know each other without any irrationally jealous brunettes to get in their way. Besides, Alyssa still had Kaylee and Shelby.

So why did she still feel so alone?

Tired of listening to the voices in her head telling her she wasn’t good enough and needing the pity party to be over, she grabbed her phone again and sent a text to the girls.

**Alyssa: Where should I meet you later?**

She didn’t have to wait long for the response. It had the address attached and a reminder to dress up. 

In the bathroom, she splashed her face with cool water a few times before wiping it away mindlessly and then getting ready. She thought about how she will probably see Emma at the show and if not then, definitely back at the room. The brunette used this time to sort out her feelings so she would be as prepared as possible the next time they talked. _If there is a next time,_ Alyssa couldn’t help but worry.

First thing first, she cared immensely about Emma, not just as a friend but as one stellar human. Her main priority should and will always be Emma and her happiness. She just needed to continue to remind herself to talk to Emma about what exactly it is that she wants. Assuming what would make Emma happy could very well have been what got her in this situation in the first place, right? 

Alyssa groaned to herself, feeling like the practice was useless. There wasn’t much she could plan for or anticipate until she heard from Emma herself and had an actual dialogue. 

At least she had come up with a step one: apologize and win back Emma’s friendship. 

//

Something was off. 

Alyssa should have known that when she typed in the address and the theatre wasn’t nearby. She had assumed either the map was wrong or maybe she was meeting up the girls some place beforehand. It didn’t matter either way, though. She was out in the city now and didn’t really have any choice but to continue on and just hope Kaylee and Shelby were around somewhere. 

When her phone announced that she had arrived at her destination, she looked around with puzzlement. She was in the middle of a sidewalk near a strip of store fronts and no Kaylee or Shelby in sight. 

It was late evening now, the sun setting, and the streets were busy with people just out of work, buzzing by to make dinner reservations or buy a few things before the shops closed. 

Alyssa was getting anxious just standing in the middle of the busy walkway, feeling way too overdressed in a royal blue satin dress that stopped a few inches above her ankles with a slit up the side, so she moved backwards to clear the way. At about four steps reversed, she stumbled in her heels and her back hit something with a thud and she felt whatever was behind her leave her body for a moment before clunking back into her. 

She turned around to find a wooden gate, barely noticeable with the wild vines growing over it. It wasn’t exactly inviting, but she was just happy for an escape from the crowd. Checking for any “No Trespassing” signs and finding none, Alyssa pushed through the gate. 

Of all the things she might have expected to find in what was essentially an alley in San Francisco, this was definitely not even in her top 10 guesses.

Alyssa now stood, dazed, in the middle of a hidden garden. A canopy covered the top, rays from the sun streaming in between the wooden planks lighting up the area with the help of the strings of round bulbs underneath. A stone path led to a circle of marbled ground with a two top table sitting in the center. There were flowers of every kind and potted plants and water features all spread throughout the courtyard. Vines covered the walls and the flowing water helped muffle the sounds of the city life outside the walls. It was absolutely beautiful. 

Despite the stunning scenery, it was the blonde, standing in the center of the oasis, that took Alyssa’s breath away. Returning air to her lungs, she took a step forward and then waited. When the other girl matched it, Alyssa started towards her, picking up the pace until she was almost sprinting towards Emma. Reaching the blonde, Alyssa slipped her arms around her neck and felt Emma’s arms wrap around her waist in return. 

“I’m so sorry, Emma. I’m an idiot.”

“No, I was the idiot and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said. I would not be fine without you in my life. You’re my best friend and I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Neither do I. Your friendship is the most important thing to me and I let other emotions get in the way of that. I promise, our friendship will always come first from here on out.”

Alyssa rambled her apology into Emma’s hair while Emma’s words floated across Alyssa’s neck. The two stayed in an embrace, both too afraid to let go. She knew it had only been 24 hours since everything had started to flip upside down, but it felt so much longer and she didn’t think she’d be happy until they stayed like this for another 24 hours more. “I just missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, Alyssa. So we agree to never fight again?” Emma asked, pulling back to see her face. When Alyssa kept her hands around her neck, Emma followed suit leaving her own resting on Alyssa’s waist.

“Never again.” Alyssa agreed, bringing a hand up to tuck blonde hair behind her ear. In doing so, she revealed the red mark still on Emma’s neck. Alyssa held her breath, promising herself not to react, even though she couldn’t tear her eyes away. _You got this, Alyssa. It’s fine. You’ve come to terms with the situation and you’re going to be-_. “That’s not a hickey.”

“No, it’s not.” Emma spoke slowly, shaking her head at the same pace. “I burned myself with my curling iron this morning. I didn’t sleep well last night and between that and the drinking, my hand was a little shaky.”

“It’s not a hickey.” Alyssa repeated, letting the revelation seep into her. She wanted to ask why she didn’t correct her this morning, but she understood. As far as Emma was concerned, Alyssa irrationally attacked her for it and didn’t really give her time for an explanation. Not only did Alyssa stupidly start a fight with Emma, she did it over nothing but an illusion. It was just another consequence of not communicating and she decided in that moment that it would be the last one. “Emma, I like you.”

The blonde chuckled. “I like you too, Alyssa.”

“No, Emma.” Alyssa moved her hand to tenderly caress her cheek. “I _like_ you... in a way I didn’t even think was possible. But I meant it when I said our friendship will always come first. I can live without more, or learn to at least, but I can’t live without you. Even if everytime I look at you all I want to do is kiss you, I-”

“You want to kiss me?” Emma interrupted, completely perplexed.

“Desperately,” Alyssa continued her long-winded speech, “But I can learn to control it. I promise. Your happiness is most important to me and I won’t let my feelings come in-between you and-”

As if she didn’t want to hear the end of that sentence, Emma pulled Alyssa closer with her hands still on the brunette’s waist before capturing Alyssa’s lips with her own.

Alyssa’s throat caught in a surprised gasp when Emma’s lips met hers. The kiss was stagnant at first, just soft lips on soft lips, like someone read the definition of a kiss to a sculptor who then carved out their best guess as to what it might look like in ice. It wasn’t long though before the heat of the moment began to melt the two together. 

Their lips moved in sync, like they’d done this a hundred times before over many lifetimes and suddenly Alyssa is a believer in reincarnation.

They must have been thinking the same thing, because as Alyssa slipped her hand up into Emma’s hair, gripping lightly and pulling her closer, one of Emma’s hands slid up Alyssa’s back applying a similar pressure. They both wanted - no - _needed_ more. 

Confidence growing, she nipped gently at Emma’s bottom lip and the whimper that escaped the blondes throat vibrated through Alyssa’s body. She tried it again, a little harder and paired with a small tug of the hair around her fingers and Emma’s whimper turned into a satisfied moan and Alyssa found herself craving to learn all the sounds that Emma could make. 

It wasn’t anything like Alyssa had imagined her first kiss might be. She had thought perhaps it would be sweet and chaste and fleeting, a quick peck before bolting away, giddy and nervous. She definitely never imagined it to be so heated and passionate and, quite frankly, a tad sloppy. But she didn’t care. This kiss was so much better than she could conceive was possible and if she had things her way, it would never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for trusting me and thanks to all those who yelled - I mean, commented last chapter! Y'all are the best!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this took forever. I was in New York for the closing show and now I'm just an emotional wreck. Anyways, through tears I got this out!

If anyone wanted to know what day it was, they should know not to ask Alyssa. In that moment, she probably didn’t even know what those words meant. All she knew was lips and hands and _Emma_. 

At some point, Alyssa’s tongue found an invitation to Emma’s mouth and the two were finding the balance between sucking and licking and biting. Hands were ravishing through hair and over clothes and when Alyssa dragged one down to rest in Emma’s chest, she was surprised to find a tie there. Gripping it gently, she slowed down the pace of the kisses until they were just giving lingering pecks through smiles before resting their foreheads together.

When Alyssa regained as much sense as she could, she let her other arm rest lazily over Emma’s shoulder before leaning back a bit. With the hand still holding the tie, she began rubbing the fabric between her fingers, watching how the light hit it with different angles.

Alyssa wasn’t dumb, despite what recent events might suggest, and she knew there were still things to discuss. She wasn’t dumb, but she was particularly weak in the presence of the very attractive and very kissable blonde in her arms. Placing one more sweet and simple kiss on Emma’s lips, she started speaking “As happy as I am with what’s going on, we should probably talk about a few things.” 

Emma let out a playful groan, but nodded anyways. “You’re right.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll go first. So, I’m… ” Alyssa started sheepishly before spitting out the last word like a hot potato, “gay.”

“I’m really proud of you, Alyssa.” Emma tilted her head, looking at her with nothing but admiration and compassion before pausing a moment. “As a straight ally, I’ll be there for you-“ 

Alyssa rolled her eyes, a smile playing at her lips before she cut Emma off with another quick kiss. “Focus.” 

“That’s easier said than done. How am I supposed to focus on talking when I know what else we could be doing?” Emma said, pulling a now giggling Alyssa by the hips. 

The brunette used the hand on Emma’s chest to steady herself and maintain distance for talking. “We just need to discuss one more thing and then hopefully we can get back to the kissing. Because wow…” Alyssa’s eyes drifted off with her words, slightly darkening at the memories of just a few minutes prior. Coming back to reality, she took a deep breath before continuing. “I meant what I said, Emma. I like you more than anything else in this world. But if Sum-“ Emma stopped the end of that name with a kiss. “I just want to know if I’m going to be competing with Sum-“ And another. “Mmm, because I’m ready to fight if you’ll let me. I care for you so much and even if Sum-“ And again but this time she let it linger.

Emma brought a hand up to caress Alyssa’s cheek before breaking apart. “Alyssa, there is no competition. There could never be with you. You’re more than I could ever want and I only talked to that girl last night because you encouraged me to and I thought maybe… I thought perhaps you caught on to my crush and were uncomfortable.”

“You thought I was uncomfortable? Emma, I put your whole finger in my mouth.” Alyssa responded, blushing furiously and hiding her face in Emma’s shoulder. 

“Yeah…” Emma mused, a somewhat dopey grin on her face. “That definitely made me feel things but uncomfortable was nowhere near the list.” 

Alyssa giggled nervously, lifting her head up. “So… back to that crush on me?” 

Emma laughed. “I thought it was painfully obvious. You’re everything, Alyssa. Brilliant, witty, stunning. Every moment I spend with you brings me a new kind of bliss that I didn’t know was possible. It seemed too good to be true that on top of all that, you would want me.” 

“I do though. I want all of you, Emma.” Deciding words couldn’t best explain how she felt anymore, Alyssa met Emma’s lips again in a perfect mix of lust and tenderness and passion and affection. If pictures were worth a 1,000 words, Alyssa hoped she could paint everything she was feeling on Emma’s lips. 

Trusting that she remembered the layout of the garden well enough, Alyssa gently pushed Emma back without allowing space between them until the back of Emma’s knees hit one of the chairs. Emma leaned back far enough to meet Alyssa’s gaze as the brunette used her hands to urge her to sit down. 

Alyssa had been so distracted by Emma’s presence and making things right between the two of them that she didn’t even notice what Emma was wearing and now, as she took it in, she could possibly fathom how she missed it. Emma was wearing a clean cut black suit with a white button up. The jacket hung open, leaving a full view of the floral tie. It suited her perfectly and she looked absolutely amazing.

Alyssa couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Emma, wild hair and kiss-swollen lips, watching Alyssa with excitement and anticipation. She took a step forward, now standing in between Emma’s legs, before reaching out to twirl a piece of blonde hair around her finger. “You are so beautiful, Emma.” 

Emma blushed, turning away from the touch, a light pink now on her cheeks. Grabbing Alyssa by the hips and bringing her to sit onto one leg and draping her legs over the other, Emma returned them to her new favorite activity.

Alyssa sighed happily against Emma’s lips and slipped one hand back into Emma’s hair, carelessly playing with the tresses, while the other found Emma’s to interlock their fingers. Their lips moved to a slow tempo, as if they both knew they would have the rest of their lives to do this.

They stayed like this for a while, only breaking apart every now and again to meet eyes with tender smiles or to mumble sweet nothings or to let their kisses land on foreheads, noses, cheeks. 

Alyssa didn’t know this kind of joy was possible. The most extraordinary girl in the world was here with her, kissing her, wanting her, and she wondered if she would ever be able to stop smiling.

As Emma started to play with the fabric of Alyssa’s dress over her legs, Alyssa nuzzled her nose into Emma’s neck, sighing contently. 

“What were you doing here anyways?” Emma wondered out loud after a moment of silence. 

“Kaylee and Shelby told me to meet them here before the show. What are _you_ doing here?” 

“Greg told me to meet him here too.” Alyssa lifted her head, raising a questioning eyebrow. “He’s been keeping me company today since… ya know. Turns out we have a lot in common. Mostly pining over you but he’s a pretty cool guy.”

“Pining, huh?” Alyssa teased, though the smug look soon shifted into realization. “Hold on, did we get parent trapped by our friends?”

Emma let out a loud chuckle. “I think we did.”

“I want to be mad but honestly I’m not sure I would have lasted one more minute with the way things were.” Alyssa’s eyes darted down to Emma’s tie, letting her fingers keep busy with it again. It was hard for her to think about how it was just this morning that she caused Emma to storm out of their room. Who could know if Alyssa would have gotten another opportunity to fix things with Emma? 

As if she could read Alyssa’s thoughts, Emma hooked a finger under Alyssa’s chin and lifted it so she could look at her as she spoke. “Hey, anything that happened wasn’t either of our faults, really. We both just cared too much about the other to see things clearly. So whatever happened last night or this morning? It doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters now is you and me.”

Alyssa closed her eyes, leaning her forehead on Emma’s, amazed how her words could wrap around her mind, heart, and soul in a calming embrace. The two girls stayed in the comfort of the garden, alternating between chatting and kissing as the sun went down.

//

When Alyssa and Emma finally exited the little oasis, there was a slight hesitation from them both as they emerged back onto the still busy sidewalk. Alyssa missed the shelter of the garden, but as soon as she saw Emma’s eyes flicker down to her hand, she felt confidence begin to flood back in. She slipped her hand into Emma’s and gave a light squeeze before leading them back to their hotel. 

When they reached the door, Alyssa turned around to face Emma, rubbing gentle circles on the back of Emma’s hand with her own thumb. Her heart raced as they stood outside the room. Yes, they had shared a bed for most of the trip but then things changed and now it suddenly felt… different. A wonderful, exciting, but unfamiliar different.

Alyssa knew Emma would never expect anything from her, not that Alyssa even knew what she wanted to happen. All she knew right now was that Emma made her feel safe and comfortable and she wanted to be as close to her as possible. But of course, she was only half of the equation. _What was Emma thinking?_

Based on appearance, she was also nervous. She had a shy smile on her face and was fidgeting with the end of her tie. 

“So…” Alyssa started, winning Emma’s gaze and swinging their still interlocked hands. She motioned towards the door. “This is my room.”

Emma giggled. “It looks nice.”

“It is. It’s got a great bed.” Alyssa smirked, a certain light flickering in her eyes.

Emma used her free hand to tuck Alyssa’s hair behind her ear, staring into Alyssa’s eyes with great affection. “I bet it has a great view too.”

Alyssa blushes. “I bet it can get better.”

The two had leaned in closer with each response and were now only inches from each other. Emma's voice was low as she spoke. “Can I come in, Alyssa?”

Alyssa placed a chaste kiss on Emma’s lips, before unlocking the room and stepping in, holding the door halfway open. Giving her best innocent expression, she held Emma’s eyes for a moment before saying, “Emma Nolan, I’m not that kind of girl.” 

Alyssa closed the door, leaving a confused and dumbstruck Emma out in the hall. She stood there for a moment, unsure what to do when the door opened again and an enthusiastic Alyssa pulled her in by her tie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to everyone who comments here and on the discord. I love y'all so much!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The biggest shout out to the sweetest angel that is Thatonegayone for helping me stay sane and focused. I love you the most. Also this is still T rated but moderately nsfw. Proceed with caution!

Before the door had even properly closed, Alyssa was pressing Emma against it. There was a brief moment of hazel eyes meeting brown and then their lips connected again. Neither could say who leaned in first, and at this point they didn’t care. They moved frantically together, as if they both decided that with the heat coursing between them there was no need to warm up. 

Alyssa placed kisses along Emma’s jaw, following the trail up to her ear. “I missed you,” she whispered. It wasn’t a lie. Even though they had only been separated for maybe ten seconds, it was far too long for Alyssa’s liking. Keeping her hips firm against Emma’s, Alyssa slid a hand into blonde hair before tugging gently to the side. “A lot,” she added before moving her lips down to the new expanse of skin. She felt Emma shiver beneath her lips before she heard the gasp that followed. 

The trail of kisses continued until she reached a spot that made Emma’s breath hitch. Alyssa stopped there and swirled her tongue around the spot before sucking gently. The moan that escaped Emma’s throat was all the encouragement Alyssa needed to nip before sucking again, harder this time.

“God, Alyssa, that feels amazing.” Emma breathed, her head falling back against the door behind her. Her eyes were closed tight but her hand still had no trouble finding its way into Alyssa’s hair, gripping tightly and urging the brunette’s actions.

The words sent a certain electricity through Alyssa’s body and suddenly they still weren’t close enough. Keeping her lips working on that spot, she shuffled a step over and bunched her dress up a few inches so one of her legs could slip out of the slit and in between Emma’s. Bending down a bit at her knees, Alyssa hooked a hand behind Emma’s thigh that wasn’t trapped by her own core, bringing it up and allowing Alyssa the access she wanted. Between Alyssa rising back up Emma’s thigh and her own hip pressing up into Emma, the two got a taste of what they both needed. The girls moaned together from the contact, Alyssa’s mouth momentarily leaving Emma’s skin. 

Alyssa brought her lips back to Emma’s as her hands found their way to the blondes jacket. She was about to ask for permission but before she could Emma shook it off, letting it fall to the floor. Allowing their now familiar dance of lips and tongues to take over, Alyssa focused on her free hand as it smoothed down Emma’s arm, taking its time to feel the fabric of the shirt. Alyssa hummed against Emma’s lips remembering how good she looked in the outfit.

The noise must’ve served as a wake up call to Emma, because the next thing Alyssa felt were hands exploring her own body. They started at her hips, traveling up to her ribs and then returning back down in a way that reminded Alyssa of their moment in the club bathroom. The memory brought a rush of heat through her body and caused her hips to buck forward. A guttural moan reverberated from Emma’s mouth and into Alyssa’s, and the brunette had to hold back a responsive whimper, worried if she didn’t they might never be able to stop exchanging noises this way. Which, at the moment, she couldn’t see how that would be such a bad thing but nonetheless she refrained. 

Instead, she refocused her efforts into loosening Emma’s tie. She’d never worked with one before and was disappointed that the act wasn’t as easy as movies led her to believe. Of course, she was also at a disadvantage as one of her hands was still supporting Emma’s leg, a position that she was not willing to sacrifice anytime soon. Alyssa let out a frustrated groan as she continued pulling at it with one hand before Emma giggled, reaching up to help loosen it. Alyssa chuckled too, grateful that Emma could laugh with her in moments like this. “Thanks.”

Alyssa pulled back to find Emma smiling at her so brightly that she felt like she just stepped into the first Spring sun there to melt the Winter’s snow. 

Alyssa stared at her, in complete and utter awe. She had never felt so many emotions for one person before. Most were ones with which she was very familiar. Happiness with the peace and joy Emma never failed to bring her. Gratitude for the comfort and safety Emma’s presence provided. Admiration for Emma’s strength and bravery with being herself. Excitement for what kind of future they could have. All of these Alyssa could identify.

But there was one emotion that was new and foreign and so overwhelming that Alyssa could swear she felt it all through her body every time Emma was near and especially when she wasn’t. It whispered to her to protect Emma no matter the cost. It urged her to care for Emma above everyone else. It nudged her to make Emma laugh when she needed it most. It drew her closer whenever Emma was near. The feeling was unrecognizable yet unmistakable all at once. 

Alyssa’s hand trembled as she brought it up to tuck a blonde curl behind Emma’s ear. “Emma, I want to… no, I need to tell you something.” 

Concern grew over Emma’s face as she let her leg drop to the ground. “Is everything okay, Alyssa? I swear I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything and I’m so sorry if this was too much. We don’t have to do anything more. I’m just happy to be near you. We can get ready for bed and-“

Smiling at how adorable Emma was when she rambled, Alyssa gently placed the tips of her fingers over the girls mouth. She would have preferred to use her lips, but she couldn’t trust herself not to get carried away and she really needed to say this first. “Everything is more than okay. You definitely didn’t pressure me into anything and honestly it was not nearly enough for me. I meant it when I said I want all of you, Emma. Nothing in this world has ever brought me the joy that you do and all I want is to make you feel the same way. I just… I have to tell you something before anything else happens.”

Alyssa took a small step back, grabbing both of Emma’s hands. She took a deep breath and began to rub small circles with her thumbs. She could feel Emma’s pulse in her hands and finally understood what people meant when they said home could have a heartbeat. “I love you, Emma.” 

Emma stood so still that Alyssa almost questioned if she even heard her, but then tears appeared in hazel eyes. Alyssa’s heart began to run a hundred miles per minute, unsure what the tears meant or what she should do. She was calculating how she could get out the door without knocking Emma over when the blonde whispered, voice shaking. “If you meant it… Can you say it again? Please?” 

Alyssa’s eyes softened and she moved a hand up to caress Emma’s cheek, using herthumb to wipe at a stray tear. Her voice was quiet but confident as she answered. “I love you, Emma. I am so unequivocally and irrefutably in love with you in a way that is all consuming and yet not nearly enough.” 

Emma nodded, seemingly unable to speak, as she stepped closer to Alyssa, slipping her arms around the brunette’s waist into an affectionate embrace. Alyssa responded immediately by wrapping her arms over Emma’s shoulders. She buried her face into the blondes neck, pressing kisses and whispering “I love you’s” against the soft skin. They held onto each other with an intensity that might typically only be necessary if someone were trying to pull them apart. 

Alyssa wasn’t mad Emma didn’t say it back. In fact, she figured as long as Emma let Alyssa spend her life loving her, it wouldn’t matter if she never did return the sentiment. Just loving Emma was enough for her. 

But then Emma pulled back, water still pooling in her eyes as she spoke. “I love you, too, Alyssa. It was terrifying at first, and it still is if I’m being honest, but I know without a doubt in my mind that I love you more than anything else in this world.” 

Yes, Alyssa would have been fine if Emma never said it back, but she couldn’t pretend that it didn’t feel absolutely amazing when she did. 

She had tears to match Emma’s as they met for a passionate kiss. Alyssa’s hands found their way to Emma’s face, one disappearing into Emma’s hair and the other gripping firmly on the side of her neck. Emma’s found their way to Alyssa’s waist, one snaking its way around and up her back, pressing the brunette tight against her own body. 

Emma wasted no time coaxing Alyssa’s lips open. By now she’d learned that with the right amount of pressure from her thumbs on Alyssa’s hips and a resonating hum against her lips, Alyssa couldn’t help a small gasp allowing access for Emma to taste Alyssa properly. 

As they got back to where they left off, Alyssa cautiously let a hand glide down Emma’s neck and to her top clasp of her shirt, letting her fingers play with it while she waited for a moment to pull away and ask Emma if it was okay. Emma nodded eagerly and Alyssa made quick work with the buttons, being careful not to ruin any if only so she could see it on Emma again at some point, in some distant future where Alyssa may want or need clothes on Emma again. Once it was open, Alyssa moved her hands to Emma’s hips and started to place open mouthed kisses down her neck hoping to discover another sensitive spot, desperate to elicit more sounds from the blonde. 

Emma’s hands felt up Alyssa’s body, sliding over curves and up to shoulders. She hooked the straps of Alyssa’s dress under her fingers, softly sliding them off her shoulders. Her hands glided above Alyssa’s dress, memorizing each ridge of her collarbone and sternum as they made their way over her shoulders. When Alyssa succeeded in finding Emma’s pulse point, biting down, Emma groaned, digging short nails into Alyssa’s shoulder blades. Alyssa whimpered as the sensation shot through her body. Her hands reached around to Emma’s backside, squeezing and pulling her impossibly closer in response. 

Alyssa knew in that moment that they either need to make it to the bed or Emma was going to end up slammed against the door again. Deciding the bed was much more practical, she stared that direction, pulling Emma with her by the lapels of her unbuttoned shirt. When she senses they’re close, she turns them around so it’s Emma’s who reaches the bed first, half falling, half lowering herself down. 

Stepping in between Emma’s legs, Alyssa stroked Emma’s cheek as she stared into eyes dark with devotion. “Emma, I love you and I meant what I said. I want everything with you, but we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I love you too, Alyssa. I trust you completely and I want all of you.”

“And we’ll tell each other if we want to stop or slow down?”

Emma nodded. “Of course.”

Alyssa let out a content sigh before leaning down to capture Emma’s lips in a tender kiss. When she pulled back, Emma grasped Alyssa’s hips again, gently spinning her. Alyssa obliged, watching over her shoulder as Emma hesitantly reached for the zipper of her dress. Alyssa nodded slightly, prompting Emma to draw the zipper down before sliding her hands slowly down the soft skin of Alyssa’s back, removing the dress in the process. 

After Alyssa stepped out of the dress, she turned back around to face Emma, whose eyes were now mapping every inch of her body. As she stood there, nearly naked, she thought perhaps she should feel shy or vulnerable. But all she felt under Emma’s gaze was safe and warm and _beautiful_.

“How are you real?” Emma mumbled in amazement. Alyssa wasn’t sure if it was meant to be heard so she chose not to acknowledge it. Not verbally, anyways. She couldn’t help the way it made her body go light and she wondered if possible for people to swoon in real life.

Alyssa regained herself the best she could and moved forward, positioning a knee on each side of Emma before settling down into her lap with arms wrapped around her neck. Emma’s face was beaming with pure bliss and Alyssa thought she could stay like this forever, watching an unbelievably happy Emma for the rest of her days, that is until the blondes hands rested dangerously low on her back and she was instantly reminded of the need coursing through her body.

Perhaps Emma saw the thought flash through Alyssa’s mind, because the next thing she knew hot kisses were being arranged along her collarbone in a pattern that seemed both senseless yet entirely important. 

“Oh god, Emma,” Alyssa moaned, pressing Emma closer, desperate for more contact. Realizing they couldn’t actually get any closer, Alyssa went for the next best option and finished what she started earlier, pushing off the white button up that had still been hanging on Emma’s shoulders. Much to Alyssa’s satisfaction, Emma managed to shake out of the sleeves without having to sacrifice the work her tongue was doing to a particular spot on Alyssa’s clavicle. 

Alyssa’s took her time exploring all the newly exposed skin, letting hands wander over Emma’s shoulders and back and stomach. She took note of where muscles danced to the touch and areas that she would definitely want to feel under her mouth eventually. Her fingers settled at the top of Emma’s pants. She leaned down to Emma’s ear, nibbling it gently before asking through ragged breaths, courtesy of Emma’s performance on her chest, “Can I?”

Before Emma could even answer yes, her hips bucked up towards Alyssa’s hands and in a swift movement she had them unbuttoned. When Alyssa stood up to complete the task, a groan escaped Emma’s now free mouth. Alyssa knelt on the ground in front of Emma, mesmerized by the look in her eyes as she watched Alyssa unzip her pants. As Alyssa’s fingers traveled back up to the waistband, Emma instinctually lifted her hips to give the brunette the leverage she needed to slip the trousers down perfect legs. 

Alyssa let her hands play along Emma’s thighs, admiring how smooth they were and then without even thinking, she leaned in to place a modest kiss low on Emma’s thigh. Registering what she did, she glanced back up at Emma who was watching her with wide eyes and a faint blush, but lust still very apparent. Alyssa held her gaze as she finished removing one sock, then the other, leaving a path of kisses from the inside of Emma’s ankle and up to her mid thigh before finding her lips again. 

Alyssa only broke apart when she felt Emma’s hands busy with something between them. “Wait-” Alyssa spoke, causing Emma to freeze, holding the tie that was still loose around her neck. Alyssa suddenly felt shy as she asked, “Can you leave it on?”

A helpless moan caught in Emma’s throat as she nodded quickly, dropping the article and bringing Alyssa in for a brief fiery kiss before Alyssa urged Emma back on the bed. As Emma crawled backwards towards the head of the bed and the brunette followed on top of her, staring into eyes full of lust and passion, Alyssa sincerely wondered how she would survive Emma Nolan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all were so stinkin' sweet with the last chapter. It made me so weak and I love y'all! Thanks as always!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh! Sorry this took twenty two years. Anyways, here it is! The last chapter!

As Alyssa began to stir, she couldn’t help but bask in the overwhelming peace she felt. She wasn’t sure what time they had finally passed out or what time it was now, but she would have guessed she’d been asleep for days based on how well rested she felt. There was a familiar warmth underneath her as she blinked her eyes open to what had to be the most beautiful sight she had seen in her life: Emma Nolan. 

Alyssa was laying with the right half of her body over Emma’s, her head resting on the blondes shoulder. Her arm was draped across Emma and her thigh was tucked between Emma’s own. The sensation of their naked bodies still tangled together caused Alyssa to sigh happily as she nuzzled her face further into Emma, letting her mind replay the events of last night. There was heat and hands and lust and lips and tension and touch but more than anything there was love. A comfortable warmth coursed through Alyssa’s body at the memories and her fingers retreated to touch the tie that had found its way to her own neck during their night together. 

Emma’s body vibrated under Alyssa as she hummed contently and a moment later Alyssa found herself making a similar sound as fingers ran through her hair. “Good morning, beautiful,” Alyssa rasped, placing a kiss on the girls chest. 

“Mmm,” was all Emma responded with as she buried her nose in brunette curls, wrapping her arms tight around Alyssa. 

If they stayed like this forever, Alyssa would call it the ultimate happily ever after. Her only complaint would be that she couldn’t possibly get closer to Emma. Unless…

Emma’s eyes shot open as Alyssa rolled further onto Emma until she was completely on top of her, bare bodies flush against each other and Alyssa’s legs slipping in between Emma’s. _Much better,_ Alyssa thought, a triumphant grin on her face. As Emma blushed, a result of their new position, Alyssa leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. “How are you so beautiful even after just waking up?” 

“You’re one to talk.” Emma smirked as she tucked a brown curl behind Alyssa’s ear. 

Alyssa leaned down and kissed Emma. She tasted like morning and felt like home. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.” Emma leaned up for another kiss, but Alyssa pulled back, a flash of fire in her eyes.

“There is no way that’s true, Nolan.” 

“Wanna bet, Greene?” Emma challenged.

Alyssa’s lips quirked up, one eyebrow following suit. “Emma, if you want to buy me ice cream again you only have to ask.”

Emma smiled brightly. “Alyssa, can I take you out for ice cream?”

The prompt left Alyssa completely flustered. She had been expecting another sarcastic comeback; not a genuine proposal. “Like… a date?”

Emma chuckled. “I sure hope so.”

“Yes!” Alyssa squealed, before giving Emma a short but sincere kiss. With a dreamy look in her eyes, she whispered, “A date.”

//

After much determination and willpower (and many distractions), the two finally made their way out of bed and got ready for the day. It was their last of the trip, which Alyssa tried not to think too much about. Instead, she focused her thoughts on getting one more day with her love and another night in her arms. 

Before stepping out into the hall, hands interlocked, they both hesitated. Alyssa looked at Emma sheepishly as the blonde avoided eye contact, rubbing almost anxious circles on Alyssa’s hand with her thumb. Alyssa turned towards Emma, who mirrored the stance, and gave a gentle squeeze before speaking. “We don’t have to… Nobody has to know anything unless we want them to.”

“Yeah…” Emma’s spoke tentatively. “Is that what you want? Nobody to know?”

Alyssa’s face softened. “There are two things I want. First, for you to be comfortable and feel safe. And second, to tell everyone in the world about you, Emma. Seriously, do you think it’s too late to get a shirt made?”

Emma laughed out all the air she had been holding in before nodding. “That’s what I want to. For everyone to know how happy you make me.”

“Oh thank goodness. ‘Cause I don’t know how I’d be able to keep my hands off of you.”

“Alyssa Greene, behave.” Emma chuckled, using her free hand to slip around Alyssa’s waist and pull her closer.

Alyssa blushed, realizing her words of choice. “Oh gosh, that’s not what I-”

Emma cut her off with a kiss. “It’s okay, because I was just thinking I don’t know how I’d be able to keep my lips off of you.”

Letting out a sigh, Alyssa tangled a hand in Emma’s hair, bringing their lips together passionately. Knowing they could do this whenever they wanted sent dizzying waves through her body. Of course a part of her was still scared, but as they walked out of their room, hand in hand, Alyssa knew that with Emma by her side anything was possible and everything was worth it. 

//

Alyssa was pleasantly surprised by how nonchalant everyone reacted (or didn’t react) to the two girls holding hands. They received a few questioning looks and just as Alyssa’s heart rate started to spike, the looks would turn to fear for a moment before looking away. It wasn’t until maybe the fifth or sixth time it happened that Alyssa saw eyes dart behind her. When she turned around, she found Kaylee and Shelby shooting daggers at the spectators and making gestures that sent a very clear message: say something and you’ll regret it.

Alyssa was equal parts mortified and touched. “Kay, Shelbs, while I appreciate the love and support, please stop threatening our peers. If they don’t like it, that’s their loss.”

“We didn’t threaten anyone. Not verbally, at least.” Kaylee countered. 

Shelby shrugged guiltily. “We’re just happy for you both and don’t want anyone to ruin that for you.”

Alyssa tilted her head, a soft smile on her lips. “It means the world. But whatever happens, it’s all worth it for Emma. And having two best friends by our side just makes it all the better.” 

“Well, I’m glad you feel that way. I had to have a hard talk with Kaylee this morning about you two…” Shelby said, an unfamiliar smile on her face.

Alyssa glanced at Emma who looked just as nervous as she felt. 

Kaylee rolled her eyes. “Look, I just needed some time to come around to the fact that no matter who I date next, we’ll probably only be the second hottest couple now.”

Alyssa felt her worries escape through a sudden laugh. She squeezed Emma’s hand, feeling her ease as well before she spoke. “Yeah, my girlfriend is pretty hot, huh?”

The word flowed so easily out of her mouth she almost didn’t realize what had been said. Her heart caught as she turned to search Emma’s face for any clue as to what she was thinking. Emma’s eyebrows were high on her face and a deep shade of pink flooded her cheeks. Alyssa opened her mouth, almost hoping the word would float back in. When Alyssa finally found words, she rushed them out in a flustered manner. “Emma, I didn’t mean… I know we haven’t talked about it… We don’t have to though… I know it’s so new…”

Emma’s hand retreated from Alyssa’s and was soon patting her jeans before reaching into a pocket and retrieving a small satin bag. Emma fumbled with it hastily before pulling out and holding up a necklace. It was all silver with a small sunflower trinket and an “A” dangling from the chain. “I was going to ask you later today but...”

Alyssa sighed happily. “Emma, it’s beautiful. And sunflowers are my favorite!”

“Yeah, you mentioned that once.” Emma admitted sheepishly.

Alyssa thought back to her birthday when she essentially cornered Emma in the band closet. “And you remembered.”

“I’m not sure I could ever forget anything about you, Alyssa.”

Emma’s eyes gazed upon Alyssa’s with such tender intensity that she felt it throughout her entire body. “Will you help me put it on please?”

Emma nodded, stepping behind Alyssa and brushing her hair to the side. A shudder coursed down Alyssa’s spine as familiar fingers brushed her neck. Alyssa took over holding her hair out of the way as Emma secured the jewelry in place, placing a gentle kiss on her neck above the clasp before pulling away.

Alyssa turned to face Emma and brought her hand up to feel the new accessory now resting on her chest. “How does it look?”

“Almost as beautiful as you.” 

Blushing and suddenly feeling shy, Alyssa whispered, “Will you still ask me, Emma?”

Emma looked confused for a moment before her face lit up and she brought a hand up to Alyssa’s cheek. “Alyssa, will you make me the happiest girl in the world and be mine?”

“Hm…” Alyssa teased, earning a playful tickle on her side from Emma. “A hundred times yes.”

Emma leaned in placing a modest but meaningful kiss on Alyssa’s lips when...

_Click._

“Shelby!”

//

“So she’s just been taking pictures of us for days now?” Emma asked between bites of ice cream. For their final day, the class went to Union Square for a sort of free for all day. The girls checked out a few shops before stumbling upon an ice cream shop, where Emma held up her promise of a first date.

Alyssa chuckled. “Well, it sounds creepier than it is. It was her way of trying to let me know she knew what was going on. It probably would’ve worked if _I_ had known what was going on too. They’re actually super cute though!”

Emma flipped through the various photos Shelby had sent, a goofy smile on her face, before landing on one in particular that made her groan. It was the one from the night they got ready for the club in Shelby’s room, faces close and Alyssa’s fingers tangled in her hair. “You can actually see the gay panic in my eyes.”

Alyssa laughed, leaning over to look at the picture as well. “You look adorable. I look like I’m two seconds away from tearing your clothes off.”

“It’s not a bad look…” Emma mumbled, eyes wide. 

Alyssa nudged Emma playfully as she continued flipping through the photos until landing on the last, taken only moments ago. A thought popped into Alyssa’s head and she couldn’t help but inquire. “Hey, when did you even have time to buy the necklace?” 

“Oh.” Emma started, warmth flooding her cheeks. “I picked it up while you were talking to your mom on the phone. The day we were on the pier, after we… after what I thought was an almost kiss.”

“It was.” Alyssa responded immediately. “Or at least, I thought it was too. So does that mean… were you planning on asking me out then too?”

“Not necessarily. I figured we would talk about what had happened and however the conversation ended, friends or lovers, I wanted you to have something to know how much I cared about you.”

“You are something else, Emma Nolan.” Alyssa replied, beaming at her girlfriend with nothing but love in her eyes.

Emma smiled shyly, looking down and playing with her spoon for a moment. Alyssa observed as the blonde’s demeanor shifted slightly and the next thing she knew Emma was using her own spoon to steal a scoop of Alyssa’s ice cream. “Emma… that’s my ice cream.” 

“If you want it, come and get it,” Emma bantered, a devilish glint in her eye as she smeared the ice cream across her own lips. Never one to turn down a challenge, Alyssa leaned over, grabbing Emma’s face in her hands, and took her time licking the ice cream off soft lips.

“Just as yummy as I remember,” Alyssa teased and the two burst into a fit of laughter.

//

Although it had been done in a playful manner, Alyssa would be lying if she said tasting ice cream on her girlfriend again didn’t cause an exhilarating rush through her body. That’s why, as nice and domestic as their day had been walking around shops, holding hands, and talking about nothing important, Alyssa still dragged Emma back to the hotel with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. 

Alyssa thanked God for making their teachers so completely oblivious as they raced back to their room. The two had been all over each other all day and if the supervisors had any perception skills whatsoever they would have known not to let the two alone in a hotel room that night. But instead they were completely unaware and Alyssa was completely grateful.

So she made sure to thank God more that evening too.

//

It was late into the night, but neither girl cared. Tomorrow they would be going back to reality and they didn’t want to waste a minute of their time with each other. They laid in bed together, ending their night much like they started: naked and tangled. The only real difference Alyssa noticed is that they were quite impossibly even more in love. 

Alyssa had been drawing invisible pictures and patterns over Emma’s body, sealing the invisible ink with little kisses, when Emma unexpectedly grabbed her hand. Alyssa watched as Emma held her hand palm up, tracing a finger along the creases, before lightheartedly teasing, “Did you know I can read palms?”

Alyssa feigned injury. “Alright now, Nolan, you can’t fault a lesbian for just wanting to hold a cute girls hand.”

Emma laughed as she placed a loving kiss on Alyssa’s forehead before she spoke. “I can’t and I won’t.”

“Besides, I _do_ actually know a bit about it.” Alyssa defended herself a little too proudly.

Emma studied Alyssa’s palm before holding her own up, comparing the two. “What was this line again? Ours look the same.”

Alyssa blushed. “Yeah, they are. Clear and long. That one is the heart line.”

“Love once and deeply…” Emma recalled Alyssa’s words from that night, hazel eyes finding brown. The brunette smiled fondly, nodding her head against Emma’s chest.

Alyssa had noticed it the other night as well but she didn’t dare let her mind play around with the thought. She was too vulnerable at the time. But so much had changed in the course of just a few short days and now, as she laid in bed with her girlfriend, she revelled in the notion that Emma could be her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! Last chapter! I have an epilogue in mind, but we'll see. As always, thank you so so much for everyone who followed along and left kudos and sweet comments. Y'all fill my heart. And a special thanks to ThatOneGayOne for being the best ever and keeping me going with every chapter. Love you big time!

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you so much!


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